Vast
by Cuteloopie2
Summary: Jasper and his cousin, Bella, move to Forks to live with Bella's father. Jasper is instantly enthralled with the beautiful, pale, golden eyed Cullens. He soon finds himself drowning in a world of supernatural and Edward Cullen. ExJ
1. Goodbye Phoenix

This is a non-cannon pairing story.

Edward x Jasper

Please don't read if you have an issue with this pairing.

I'm actually in the process of writing another story, Regaining Trust. It's an Edward x Bella pairing. Feel free to read that if you'd like.

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight.

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Chapter 1: Goodbye Phoenix

"Bella, please. You two don't need to leave." Renee Dwyer had been pleading with her daughter, Bella Swan, for the last hour while I listened from the hallway.

"Mom, you and Phil need some time together. And you know I miss Charlie. I'll email everyday and make sure that Jazz calls you every once in a while."

There was a sniffling noise. "He won't want to call me."

"Why wouldn't I want to call you?" I asked as I finally stepped into the living room. I could feel the concern pouring off Bella as she stared at her mother. Renee glanced at me and I was slammed with pain and guilt. I walked towards her and crouched down so I was eye level with her. She stared at me with bloodshot eyes and threw her arms around my neck.

"Oh, Jasper!" she sobbed. "I'm so sorry. I don't mean it. Please! You and Bella can stay. I'll start to feel better. I'll go to a psychiatrist."

I remained silent as I continued to hold her. I focused on her erratic breathing and rubbed soothing patterns on her back.

Renee let out a shaky laugh as she pulled back. "Sometimes I wish I could carry you around in my pocket. You're like a tranquilizer."

"Why wouldn't I want to call you?" I repeated.

"Because I know that I've hurt you." She stared over my shoulder. She rarely made eye contact with me anymore.

I took her hand in both of mine. "I'm only hurt because you are. I can't stay here knowing I cause you this much pain."

She looked at my face and I felt her agony as she met my dark blue eyes. "You are so much like her," she whispered. I knew, without asking, that she was talking about Carol. Her sister. My mother.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"No!" Renee's eyes widened. "Don't ever apologize for that. My sister was the most beautiful, caring person in the world and you are exactly like her. You have her eyes, her smile and even the same dimple in your right cheek. But it's more than that. You have her kind heart, her need to help people and her tendency to put others before herself."

"But it hurts you because I remind you so much of her."

"I'm sorry. I just miss her so much. It's only been a year since she passed and the hurt is still fresh."

"I know," I murmured. "You need to grieve without me around reminding you of her." I hugged her again and smiled when I felt her acceptance. I gave Bella a brief smile and excused myself from the room.

A few hours later, I decided to see if Bella needed any help packing.

"Knock, knock." I stood in Bella's open doorway as she folded a shirt.

"Come on in, Jazz."

I tried to get a handle on how she felt. _Sadness, excitement, worry, nervousness._

I settled into her desk chair. "You okay?" She watched me for a moment. I could tell she wanted to say 'I'm fine' but she knew that I would always be able to tell whether she was being honest or not.

"I'm just worried about her."

"Me too. You know you don't have to come to Forks with me. Phil and Renee would love for you to stay here in Phoenix with them."

I felt her irritation spike. "Jazz, I wish you would stop saying that! You're not just my cousin, you're my best friend. There's no way I would let you go without me. Plus, I really do miss Charlie."

We were quiet while she continued packing. She started putting some framed photographs together when she paused. "You really are exactly like Carol."

I felt her longing as she stared at my mother's picture. "I miss her."

"Yeah," I whispered.

"I wish she were still here."

I shook my head immediately. "No, you don't."

Bella glanced at me curiously. "Why?"

"Bella, you don't understand. She wasn't herself. She was in so much _pain_." I felt my voice distort around the word.

"Jazz-"

"The cancer took her over completely. Every time she took a breath it was agony. I'm glad she's not here anymore."

Bella didn't say anything as she crossed the room and gathered me in her arms. I shook with the restraint of holding my tears.

"Am I a bad person? I'm glad she's not here! I know you and Renee want her back but I don't. Not like that. Am I horrible?"

"No, Jasper." Bella squeezed me tighter and started humming, knowing music calmed me. When I regained composure, we finally parted.

"Thanks, Bella," I said hoarsely. She reached and gave me a peck on the cheek before returning to her things.

The next day at the airport was filled with plenty of tears and hugs from Renee. Phil stood by her side with an arm around her waist. He gave Bella a warm embrace and clapped me on the back in a one arm hug. I knew we were leaving Renee in good hands.

Bella and I boarded the plane. Soon we were in the air and Bella pulled out her old, battered copy of _Wuthering Heights_. I yawned exaggeratedly as I stared at her book.

She didn't even glance at me. "Don't hate on the classics, Jazz."

I closed my eyes and tried to relax. Unsurprisingly, I couldn't relax and stared clenching my fists. Being around a lot of people had never been an easy task for me. Being around a lot of people in a small space was a different kind of hell. Everyone's emotions felt more concentrated. _Anxiety, fear, nausea, excitement, boredom._ The emotions never stopped.

Bella handed me one of her earbuds and scrolled to her lists of classical music that put together especially for me. I calmed immediately. "Thank you, Bella."

She nodded as she turned a page. "Why do you like instrumental classical music so much?"

I opened one eye and looked down into her clear, brown eyes. "It's interesting to me. I get to interpret their emotions instead of having them thrown at me."

We were quiet for a few moments. Bella rested her head on my shoulder. "What's it like to be you?"

She always asked me this question and I always answered the same way.

"It's not easy."

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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

As always, I'd love to know what you think.


	2. Hello Forks

Hello all! Thank you for the kind words.

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight.

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Chapter 2: Hello Forks

"You kids have a good flight?" Charlie Swan asked gruffly. He was at the airport waiting for us. It was comical to watch him and Bella awkwardly embrace. Charlie had never been an emotional man, but he loved his daughter fiercely.

I felt an uncomfortable weight in my chest as I thought of my parents. They were both gone, lost to the fragility of the human body.

"It was fine, Dad," Bella answered as we made our way through the airport.

A security guard caught Charlie's eye. "Have a good one, Chief."

Charlie grunted an affirmation. We walked out to his police cruiser and stuffed our bags inside. I sat in the back as nothing but green whipped by us.

"Bells, your old room is waiting for you. And Jasper, I had some friends help me spruce up the attic for you." He made eye contact with through the rear view mirror. I smiled my first real smile of the day. I would always go to the attic when Bella and I came to visit Forks. It was my favorite place in the house.

"That sounds great, Charlie."

Charlie blushed slightly at my praise. "Yeah, well…I know you like it up there. I wanted to make sure you have enough space. I know I don't have the biggest house."

"It's perfect, Charlie, really."

We arrived at Charlie's house and started taking the luggage into the house. Charlie swatted Bella's hand away when she tried to help with her bags.

"I can carry my own bags, Dad. I'm not helpless."

"Bells, you trip over nothing with your hands _free._ Think about what'll happen if you're actually carrying something." Charlie shuddered in mock horror as I snickered.

I made my way to the attic to check out my new space. It was a fairly large room with a nice sized window. A full size bed was pushed against the wall with a plush blue rug in front of the bed. A small desk and chair sat in the corner and a wardrobe sat in the opposite corner. It was perfect.

I spent the next few hours unpacking and getting use to my surroundings. Charlie called for Bella and I to come downstairs. He was standing at the front door when we arrived.

"I have something to show you two."

We stepped out of the house to see a man in a wheel chair with a teenager behind him.

"You kids remember Billy Black and his son Jacob?"

I walked over to Billy and extended my hand. "It's nice to see you again, Mr. Black."

He shook my hand firmly. "Billy's fine. Look how much you've grown, Jasper. Last I remember you were bullying Jake here." Jacob's russet skin darkened with a blush and he moved his hands through his long, straight black hair. I could feel his embarrassment as I shook his hand.

"Hey, man," he greeted. Jacob was a few years younger than me so that would make him about 15 now. I was shocked to see that he was at least two inches taller than me, making him about 6'4.

Bella came next to me and gave Billy a hug. "What have you been feeding him?" She winked and gestured to Jacob.

Jacob laughed. "Don't be jealous because you're short."

Bella huffed. "I'm not short, you're just freakishly tall."

Charlie cut in before Jacob could argue back. "So what do you think?"

Bella and I looked at each other in confusion. "Think about what, Dad?"

"The truck."

I looked at the huge red tank next to Billy and Jacob. The truck looked at least 40 years old.

"It's, um, big," I said.

Billy gave it an affectionate pat. "Yep, she owns the road."

Jacob made eye contact and I could feel his eagerness and hope. _Why would he feel hopeful?_

Charlie cleared his throat. "Well, Billy doesn't need it anymore. He got Jake to fix it up. And I thought maybe you or Bella would like it."

Bella felt shocked, then extremely happy. "Really? It's wonderful."

Jacob looked skeptical. "You like it?"

Bella had already gravitated towards the truck, ignoring Jacob completely.

When she finally tore herself away, she went in the house to start dinner for everyone. Jacob lagged behind to walk with me. His dominant emotion was relief. He had a huge grin across his face.

"What are you so happy about?"

"My dad was going to make me keep that truck if you or Bella didn't like it."

I chuckled as we made our way to the kitchen. Dinner was filled with laughter and embarrassing stories. After Billy and Jacob left, Bella washed the dishes while I dried. Charlie came in and leaned on the doorframe.

"You kids ready for your first day of school?" I felt Bella's nervousness.

"I guess so," she muttered. I shrugged in answer.

Charlie scratched his mustache awkwardly. "Make sure you get some sleep. I'm about to go to bed. I'll already be gone by the time you head out."

Bella and I finished the dishes and headed upstairs.

"I'm really nervous about tomorrow," Bella whispered.

"Why?"

"Jazz, the school year has already started. Everyone's going to be talking about us."

"This town has about ten people. They're all going to be talking about us."

She nudged my shoulder. "You're not helping."

"I made you smile, I did help."

I leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Night, Bella."

"Night, Jazzy."

I rolled my eyes as I walked to the attic. Bella was the only person that could get away with calling me Jazzy.

Later that night, I tossed and turned in bed, not used to the emotional climate.

When my mom went on hospice care, we moved from Texas to Phoenix so we could stay with Renee. I couldn't handle the new emotions so I would sit in the rocking chair beside my mom's bed while she slept. She was always in pain, but I felt better just being near her. I missed that.

I felt like I had just closed my eyes when I felt someone shaking my shoulder. I covered my head with the pillows. "Go away."

"Jazz, come on. I let you sleep for an extra 15 minutes." I peeked at Bella. She looked as tired as I felt.

I sat up and yawned. "No sleep?"

She shook her head. "I've been up for three hours. Couldn't get back to sleep."

I gave her a sympathetic glance before I walked to the bathroom. I'd reached my quota for talking this morning. I would comfort Bella later. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My blonde hair fell to my chin in tangled waves. My dark blue eyes had dark circles under them from lack of sleep. My pale skin would only tan slightly and that would soon fade, thanks to Forks' gray skies.

After I dressed, I made my way to the kitchen. I felt Bella's emotions and tried not to focus on them. Sometimes she felt as if her privacy was invaded. I still felt groggy so I remained silent. Bella slid a Pop-Tart towards me but I shook my head. My stomach was nowhere near awake. Besides, Bella's nervous emotions killed any possible appetite.

"We'd better get going," Bella sighed.

Of course it was raining.

I pulled the hood over my head and darted out to Bella's truck. My stiff muscles cried in protest.

"You're in a much better mood when you go for your morning run," Bella observed as the truck roared to life.

"Overslept," I muttered.

We were quiet for the drive until Bella's emotions became suffocating.

"Bella," I groaned. "Will you calm down? It's high school, not the end of the world."

She grimaced. "Sorry, Jazz."

"Don't be, I'm just tired."

We pulled into the parking lot of Forks High School. A lot of people were already in the parking lot. I could feel their curiosity before we even exited the truck. It didn't help that they could hear the truck from a mile away. We walked to the office as people continued to stare at us. Bella's cheeks turned a dark shade of pink.

"Hello, sweethearts," said a woman who worked in the office. "You must be Isabella Swan and Jasper Whitlock."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Well, I'm Mrs. Cope. We're very happy to have you here at Forks High." She tried to sort through her unorganized desk. It took about 20 minutes for her to find our schedules.

"Here we are!" she exclaimed. "It doesn't look like you two have any classes together. That's not unexpected since you're a junior, Isabella, and you're a senior Jasper. But, you do have the same lunch."

We walked down the now empty hall. Bella sulked quietly.

"Don't pout, Bella."

She elbowed me. "Stop telling me how I feel, Jazz. You know that's annoying."

I ruffled her hair lightly. "See you at lunch."

My first class was an art elective. I had to introduce myself to the class. I felt a flare of lust from some of the girls and even a couple of guys. I sat in the back of the class and waited for time to pass.

Thankfully, my next two classes went by with no introductions on my part. The History class seemed interesting, but I really liked Psychology.

It was finally lunch time and I stood in front of the cafeteria waiting for Bella. She came down the hall looking flushed.

"Thank goodness!" she exclaimed.

"That bad?"

We walked into the cafeteria and, of course, people still stared.

Bella picked up an apple and a pre-made salad. "Not _bad_. Just overwhelming."

I silently followed her through the lunch line, allowing her to vent.

"Everyone keeps asking me the same questions. 'How do you like Forks?' 'Why did you move here from Phoenix?' 'Why are you so pale?' 'Your cousin's hot, does he have a girlfriend?'"

I didn't like that people were asking Bella about me. "Sorry, Bella."

"You can't help that girls fall for your good looks and southern accent." She paused for a moment considering something. "If they knew you were gay, they wouldn't waste their time. Maybe you should tell them," she whispered.

I nudged her shoulder in response. "Why? Do you have to go around telling people that you're straight?"

Bella felt extremely uncomfortable and pushed away some emotion before I could tell what it was. I was about to ask her when a loud voice came from across the cafeteria.

"Bella! Over here!"

A girl with light brown hair and bright blue eyes yelled across the cafeteria, causing several students to look up from their lunch. Bella groaned softly as we made our way to the table.

"Hi, Jessica."

"Hey, Bella." I could tell she wasn't interested in talking to Bella. Jessica's sharp eyes traveled over my body. "And you must be Jasper. I'm Jessica, this is Angela, Lauren, Mike and Tyler."

She gestured to the other students at the table. The girl, Angela, gave me a timid smile, then went back to eating. The emotions coming off of her were pleasant. The blonde stared at me, much like Jessica did and I felt her lust. The guys were busy looking at Bella. They made room for us at the table and Bella and I sat down.

I could feel Jessica's malicious emotions before she even opened her mouth. "So, Bella, you have any boyfriends back in Phoenix?"

I cut in before she could answer. "Isn't that a little personal considering you just met her today?"

She blinked innocently. "I was just trying to get to know her better."

"Right," I drawled.

Bella felt grateful for my interference. We continued lunch while Jessica and Lauren batted their eyelashes at me. I became uncomfortable with the amounts of lust pouring off them. It became hard to keep their emotions from blurring with my own.

"Who are they?" Bella asked quietly. I turned around as a group of four people glided into the cafeteria. I felt Jessica's excitement as she began to talk animatedly. She pointed to a large, attractive, guy with dark, curly hair and extremely pale skin.

"The big guy in the front is Emmett Cullen and the gorgeous blonde next to him is Rosalie Hale. They're seniors." The female had long blonde hair that fell in waves down her back, she was also pale. She looked like a movie star walking through the small cafeteria. Her hand was tucked into the arm of the guy next to her.

Something about them struck me as odd. Their graceful movements seemed almost choreographed. Before I could examine them further, Jessica began chattering away again. "And that's Edward and Alice Cullen, they're juniors and they're the only ones who take their brother sister role seriously."

The female looked to be around 4'11. She had short, inky black hair that was arrange in a spikes. She reminded me of a magical sprite. The guy next to her was over a foot taller with reddish brown hair. I wanted to see more of his face but didn't want to get caught staring.

"What do you mean?" Bella asked.

"Well, they all live together. Dr. Cullen and his wife can't have any kids so they adopted them all. But Emmett and Rosalie are like _together_."

"_Oh." _Bella blushed slightly. "Dr. Cullen and his wife must be kind people to adopt so many children."

Jessica shrugged dismissively. "Yeah, I guess. They're all weird though."

"How so?"

"Well…they act like they're too good to talk to anyone outside of their twisted family."

Angela looked at Jessica with narrowed eyes. "They aren't like that. They're just close with each other."

"Oh yeah they're _close_ alright," Lauren said snidely.

"That's not what I meant and you know it!"

The two girls began to bicker as I snuck a glance at the family. They were sitting at a table with no food in front of them. It didn't appear to be any conversation going on but they all seemed aware of each other.

I looked down at my unappetizing food and wondered how much longer lunch would last.

"Bella, Edward Cullen is staring at you," Jessica said in disbelief. I looked up and saw that he was indeed staring at Bella. I focused in on his emotions and found that he felt extremely confused. As his confusion grew, anger started to come to the surface.

Bella didn't look back at him but blushed, feeling embarrassed at the scrutiny of everyone at the table.

"Come on, Bella, let's get out of here."

We walked to Bella's locker. "Why was he looking at me?"

I didn't want to tell her about the anger I felt coming from him. "He was just curious."

She watched me for a moment. I could tell that she knew I was keeping something from her, but she let it pass. We had a few minutes to spare so we talked about my classes and which ones I thought were interesting. After a while, we parted ways and went to our respective classes. I checked my schedule and saw that I had French next.

Growing up in Texas, I knew a lot of people who spoke Spanish and quickly caught on to the language. I was practically fluent in it. I decided to take French so I could actually be challenged.

The teacher greeted me when I walked into the room and told me I could take the empty seat next to Rosalie. I glanced around the room and found the blonde from earlier. She looked even more stunning as I came closer to her. Once I settled in my seat, I looked at her, planning on introducing myself but she stared straight ahead. I didn't take it personally.

Class went at a slow pace. The teacher went over verb conjugations and gave us an in-class assignment. I finished my assignment quickly and waited, rather impatiently, for class to end. The two girls in front of me were also completed with their work and were now giggling with each other.

"At first she just tried to say she'd gained weight. But I knew something was up when she ran to the bathroom to get sick one day," one girl whispered.

"No! She's pregnant?"

"Yep. She finally confessed after I told her I knew she was keeping something from me."

"Poor Julie. So what is she going to do? Is she going to keep it or…you know."

I was snapped out of the girls' conversation by the blonde next to me. She felt overwhelmingly angry all of the sudden. But it was deeper than that. Underneath her anger was sadness, frustration and betrayal. The pain radiating off of her cut through me like a hot knife. I clutched my chest and stood suddenly, knocking my chair over.

"Something wrong, Mr. Whitlock?" The teacher looked up from her desk in annoyance. She probably thought I was going to be some kind of trouble maker.

"Ma'am, may I be excused to the nurse's office? I'm not feeling well." She took in my stricken appearance and felt genuine concern.

"Of course, dear. Do you need someone to walk with you?"

"No thank you. That's not necessary."

She didn't seem convinced. "Ms. Hale?"

Rosalie's face snapped to the teacher in shock. From what I could tell, it wasn't everyday that Rosalie got called on.

"Would you mind walking Jasper to the nurse?"

"No!" I burst out. Rosalie looked at me with suspicion. Her previous emotions died down now that she was sufficiently distracted by my odd behavior.

"Really," I tried again calmly. "That's not necessary. I'll be fine."

I made my way from the class before the teacher could argue any further. The thought of being anywhere near Rosalie again made my body protest. I walked to the nurse's office and told her I had a stomach ache and needed to lie down.

"You can lie on the empty cot next to Mr. Cullen," the nurse said as she pointed to the small room. There were two small beds and one of them had the guy with reddish-brown hair lying in it. He had a hand over his face and lay completely still. The nurse scattered away and I made my way to the cot. The guy made no move to acknowledge my presence so I just relaxed for a moment, trying not to think of the deep emotions that came from Rosalie.

A few moments later, I felt a strange sensation. It felt like a tingle inside of my head. It was unpleasant, just extremely weird feeling. It started at my neck and soon my entire head was tingling. I didn't like the way it made me feel. I felt…exposed. I didn't know if I was coming down with a headache so I tried some of my calming remedies. I usually used these when I felt overwhelmed with people's emotions, but I figured now was as good of time as any to use them. I pictured myself lying on a warm beach at night. I could see the moon and feel the warm breeze from the ocean.

There was a sound in the cot next to me. I opened one eye and saw the Cullen guy looking at me. _What was his name?_

"Hello," he murmured. His voice was smooth and deep. It sounded like he was singing almost. I looked into his eyes and was shocked by their darkness. They were darker than any eyes I'd ever seen. I couldn't describe them as black. They were the absence of color, a bottomless pit of darkness. Now that I was closer to him, I could see that his hair was actually a bronze color. It stuck out in perfect disarray. He carried the look well. His hair actually complemented his chiseled jaw and shapely lips. As I continued to stare at his lips, I realized he was still talking.

"My name is Edward Cullen." He made no move to shake my hand so I kept mine to myself.

"I'm Jasper Whitlock. Pleasure to meet you, Edward."

He stared deep into my eyes and I felt the tingling increase. It was now like a low buzz. I desperately tried to place myself back on my happy little beach so I wouldn't panic.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked in a musical voice.

"I'm fine. Just a headache or something." I felt Edward's curiosity and the buzzing came back with a vengeance.

"Are you certain? You're not looking well."

I closed my eyes and wished for the buzzing to stop. I'd never felt anything like this in my entire life. It scared me and I wished I was alone instead of having someone asking me if I felt okay.

I opened my eyes and noticed that Edward was now sitting on the bed. _How did he move so silently?_

"Perhaps I should leave you be. I'm feeling better for the moment." He talked with such a proper diction. It didn't even sound like he was from this time.

He stood gracefully. I noticed his movements were even more liquid than I'd observed in the cafeteria. Everything he did was smooth and connected. When he put on his jacket, it looked like a ballet move.

"Glad you're feeling better," I said, not really knowing how to feel the silence. He seemed to be staring at me entirely too much. It was borderline rude.

"Thank you," he said crisply. "I hope you feel better as well."

And with that he was already across the room, walking as if he had clouds under his feet. Once he left the room, I noticed the buzzing was gone. It's like it left as soon as he did. I didn't feel anything but curiosity from him, but something deep inside me told me to stay away. There was something about him and his sister that filled me with unease.

I decided not to go to anymore classes. I didn't want to risk running in to one of the Cullens again. I left when the last bell of the day rang and went to Bella's locker to wait for her. I knew she had gym so she wouldn't be in a good mood.

She came over to the locker and grabbed her stuff silently. We walked down the hall before she finally spoke. "We played volleyball today and I managed to hit the teacher in the face with the ball."

I burst out laughing before I could help it. Bella felt annoyed with me but it quickly faded because she felt happy to see me smile. There was another emotion brewing under the surface but it was pushed away.

"Oh shut up!" She stomped down the hall going towards the office.

I caught up with her and draped my arm over her shoulder. "You know that was funny, Bella. Don't be mad at me." I gave her my best innocent expression.

She shrugged off my arm but I could tell she was amused by my puppy dog face. "That's not fair, Jazz. Now come on, we need to turn in the slips from our teacher."

We walked into the small office and saw that Edward Cullen was in deep conversation with Mrs. Cope.

"Mrs. Cope, are you sure there's no way to get me out of that class?" His voice had an almost hypnotic quality. It sounded like honey and I could even feel Mrs. Cope swoon slightly.

"I'm sorry, Edward. There are just no other seats available in the senior level Biology classes."

Edwards's body stiffened perceptibly and he spoke almost coldly. "Of course, thank you for your time. I see nothing else can be done here."

He turned and his gaze zeroed in on Bella. His dark eyes glinted with an emotion I couldn't place. I cautiously reached out to feel his emotions and leaned back in shock. He was…_hungry_. But that word wasn't enough to describe how he felt. It was like a mixture between hunger, thirst and pain. It seemed like he hadn't eaten anything in weeks. But the way he looked at Bella was almost predatory. I didn't know why but I automatically stepped in front of Bella, blocking Edward's view.

His eyes snapped to mine and the buzzing sensation came back with force. I swayed and clutched my head in my hands as a futile attempt to make it stop. I could feel Bella's alarm as she tried to ask me what was wrong but I couldn't pay her any attention. I couldn't look at anything but Edward. His eyes held me prisoner. His emotions became calculating and I took a step away from him, dragging Bella with me.

Edward's nostrils flared as he glanced at my feet then back at my eyes. Mrs. Cope watched the entire scene play out warily. She felt confused and a little scared.

"Edward? Have you met Isabella Swan and Jasper Whitlock? Today was their first day." He didn't turn to look at her but still answered her question.

"We've met," he said curtly. Without another word he left the office. Bella and I quickly gave Mrs. Cope the papers and went out to her truck.

"What was that about? It's like he hates me. He actually got up and left as soon as I sat by him in Biology."

I felt even more uneasy. "I don't know, Bella. Maybe it's best that you stay away from him." Bella didn't answer but I could tell that she agreed.

We arrived at Charlie's house and Bella started dinner while I sat at the table and talked with her. Charlie came in a while later and asked us about our day as we ate. He didn't say much but he was immensely pleased to have Bella and I there with him.

Soon, it was time for bed and I was under my covers, staring at the ceiling. I tried to make sense of what I felt from Edward and his sister, Rosalie. There was something so _different_ about them and I had no idea what to make of it. I just hoped that Bella and I wouldn't have anything to do with them.

I tossed and turned for a few hours and the image that stayed with me was Edward Cullen's perfect face.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Sorry for the delay. I'm graduating college next month so I've been busy, to say the least. Hopefully the next chapter will not take as long. I hope you all can be patient with me:)

As always, I'd love to hear what you think.


	3. Goodbye Certainty

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things _Twilight_.

* * *

Chapter 3: Goodbye Certainty

"_Jasper? Where's my sweet boy?"_

_I hid under my bed, trying not to giggle. It was my bath time, and I always went under my bed so she wouldn't find me._

"_Hmm…could he be in the closet?" I heard the closet door squeak open and close, then her footsteps got closer to the bed. I wiggled to the middle and laughed quietly. My dad came into the room, and I could hear him give my mom a kiss._

"_What're you lookin' for, honey?"_

"_Oh, I'm lookin' for this little boy name Jasper. He has blonde hair and big, blue eyes."_

"_No, I haven't seen anyone like that. Now where would I hide if I were a little boy named Jasper?" My dad sat on my bed and bounced around a bit. "This boy Jasper sure is missin' out. He's got this nice soft bed, and tomorrow he gets to start kindergarten."_

"_He sure does. And if he doesn't take his bath tonight, he won't be able to meet his new friends and teacher."_

_I slid from under the bed. "Here I am!"_

_My mom's blue eyes widened. "Oh, there you are, Jasper! Are you ready for your bath now?"_

"_Yes, ma'am!" My dad scooped me into the air making me laugh and ran me to the bathroom. I loved being around my mom and dad, they always felt happy inside. _

_My dad left the bathroom as my mom came in with my favorite toys and started to fill the tub with water and bubbles._

"_Are you excited about your first day, baby?" she asked me once I'd settled in the warm water._

"_Yeah, but I'm scared. What if they don't like me?"_

"_Who couldn't like you? You're the most perfect little boy in the world. Now, remember what I told you?"_

"_Yeah, I 'member. Don't go around tellin' people how they feel on the inside."_

"_And do you remember why?" she asked me as she washed my hair._

"'_Cause people won't understand how I know those things."_

"_That's right, baby." She filled my little bucket with water and held it over my head. "Okay time to rinse off. Let's countdown."_

"_3-2-1."_

_Warm water rushed over my head as I leaned forward in the shower. There was a loud knocking on the door._

"_Jasper Whitlock! You have exactly three minutes to get out of that shower before I come in and start flushin' the toilet."_

"_Aw, come on, ma! I just got in here," I lied. I'd been in the shower for 15 minutes already._

"_You're going to be late for your first day of school! One minute!" She yelled as she went back down the hallway. Today was my first day of 5__th__ grade. I wished I didn't have to go. I sighed as I got out of the shower and toweled off. I was on my way to my room when I heard my dad cough from my parents' bedroom._

_I knocked on the door. "Pa, you okay?"_

"_Come on in, son." I walked in the room to see my father under the cover looking pale. I could tell that something had been wrong with him for the last few days. It was like something in his body wasn't working right. I said something didn't seem right, he told me not to worry about him. Last night at dinner we were eating and suddenly my dad had to run to the bathroom and got sick. When I asked him about it, he just said it was indigestion. My mom was already worried but it got even stronger once he said he was staying home from work today. My dad never missed work._

"_Will you go to the doctor?"_

_He had a thin sheet of sweat on his face and his eyes looked glassy. "I don't need a doctor, son. I just need a good day's rest."_

"_Are you sure? I know you aren't feelin' good. Somethin' isn't right."_

_He looked at me for a moment and I could tell he was actually considering my words. Suddenly his gray eyes widened and hot pain surged through his body. He clutched his chest as he struggled to breathe. "Jasper, get some help!"_

"_Mom! Call 911!" My mother burst through the door instantly. She must have already been on her way to the room. The next few minutes happened so fast. My mom cried as she spoke on the phone. My dad started getting even sicker so I brought a trash can for him to get sick in. The ambulance came about five minutes later and I had to go to my next door neighbor's house. _

_I rested my head on the older woman's lap. She smelled like mint. "Everything's going to be alright, Jasper. You're dad will be just fine."_

_She was lying. My dad wasn't going to be fine, and I knew it. I lay on her lap and started crying, thinking about how my wish came true. I really didn't have to go to school that day._

My eyes opened and it took me a moment to remember where I was. Charlie's house. I glanced out the window and saw that the sun had barely risen. I would actually have time to take a quick jog. I went to the bathroom then threw on some sweatpants and a hoodie.

It was cool and wet outside, it must have rained sometime during the night. I took deep breaths as I jogged down the street. I tried to get used to the moist air. I stopped after a block to stretch my legs and then I began to run faster. My muscles burned before I finally settled into the state of numbness I longed for. There was nothing but me and the street. The only sounds that could be heard were my feet padding against the pavement. My mind was mercifully blank and before I knew it an hour had past. I ran back to Charlie's house and took a quick shower, deciding not to shave that day.

I found Bella waiting for me in the kitchen. I grabbed a bowl of cereal and sat next to her. She glanced over me casually. "Going for the scruffy look?"

I ran a hand over the dark blonde stubble on my jaw. "I didn't really have time to shave. Does it look bad?"

Bella sighed. "Of course not. I'm sure all the girls will love it."

I rolled my eyes in response. We finished eating and headed to school. Bella turned on a random radio station and drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. Her emotions were a lot calmer than yesterday. It seemed as if she was actually looking forward to today. I decided not to question her about it, knowing it would probably annoy her.

We arrived at school a little early so we had time to walk slowly to class. People still stared at us in the hallway, but I could already tell that the newness was wearing off of me and Bella. After a few more weeks, we would be old news. I smiled to myself at the thought.

Bella caught my smile and returned it. "What are you smiling about over there?"

"Just looking forward to the days when we aren't the new, shiny objects here."

She laughed softly and told me she would see me later. I walked to my first class and did my best to stay engaged in the class. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't. I kept wondering how I would feel about seeing the Cullens today. I thought back to the bleak look on Edward's face and shuddered slightly. Soon half the day was over and it was already time for lunch.

I stood outside of the lunchroom waiting for Bella to get out of class. I jumped when I noticed someone standing right beside me.

"Hi, I'm Alice Cullen." She was beautiful. Her eyes were a rich gold. Her tiny features were arranged perfectly on her face. Even her spiked hair looked manicured. She seemed to be both happy and excited in that moment. She didn't offer her hand so I bowed deeply.

"I'm Jasper Whitlock, nice to meet you."

She smiled largely and I noticed how white and perfect her teeth were. Something about her smile made me feel a little uneasy though. I took a slight step back and glanced around for Bella.

"I know exactly who you are. I was wondering if you'd like to sit with us at lunch," she said in a soprano voice.

"I always sit with Bella…"

"Of course!" she interrupted. "She's invited too.

I wasn't sure why she would be so happy about sitting with us but it made me a little nervous. I told her I would think about it. She gave me another perfect smile and disappeared in the lunchroom just as Bella came around the corner.

"You went to the nurse's office yesterday?" Bella said as a greeting. We moved to the line to get our food as she impatiently awaited my response.

"Yeah, I wasn't feelin' good."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

I grabbed a chocolate pudding and placed it on my tray. "There was no point. I felt better by the time school was over."

Bella huffed in annoyance but kept silent. She didn't like when I kept things from her but I didn't want her worrying about me all the time.

"Oh yeah," I said, changing the subject, "Alice Cullen invited us to eat lunch with her." I felt a spark of hope and something else ignite inside of Bella.

"What was that?" I asked, referring to her odd emotion.

"What was what?"

"You felt something weird for a moment. Now it's gone."

"It's nothing, Jazz." She pulled out her wallet and paid the cashier. She felt angry and nervous.

"Bella, what's going on? You know you can talk to me about anything."

"I said it's nothing, Jasper! Can I just sort through things on my own without you pilfering through my emotions?"

I leaned back, shocked and a little hurt. "I'm not trying to _pilfer_ through your emotions."

"Yeah? Well how would you like someone rummaging around in things they have no business in?"

I kept my face impassive as I spoke. "I can't help the way I am. You know that, Bella. I'm just sorry to be such a bother to you."

She instantly felt guilty at my words but was still annoyed from earlier. Instead of saying anything, she went and sat at a table next to that girl Angela.

I blinked a few times and sat at an empty table. I stared at the food on my tray and tried to get my appetite back but it was no use. Bella and I hardly argued but when we did I usually have a hard time dealing with it. I always tried so hard not to make Bella feel as if her privacy was invaded. To know I failed was just depressing. When we were younger, I often told Bella how hard it was for me to keep everyone's emotions out. It took all of my concentration and became physically draining. I confided in her and told her that I felt guilty for knowing what everyone was feeling. It felt like I was invading their personal thoughts. She knew how much I struggled with this, yet she still spoke those harsh words.

A tray sliding on the table snapped me from my miserable thoughts. I looked up into the face of Edward Cullen. My memory hadn't done him justice. He was breathtaking. Literally.

"May I join you?" His deep voice swirled around me and I found myself leaning forward, hoping to hear more of him.

"Sure."

We sat in awkward silence. He reached and grabbed an apple from his tray and began fiddling with it. I took that time to look at his skin. To say he was pale was an understatement. I always thought I ran a little on the pale side but he was completely white. The deep red of the apple contrasted greatly with his skin.

"Are you alright?"

I chuckled weakly. "You asked me the same question yesterday."

"I suppose I did."

I tried to think of something else to say but I was distracted by the buzzing feeling again. I looked at Edward and found him staring at me intently. That's when I noticed his eyes. They were a dark butterscotch, completely different from yesterday. The buzzing remained but I forced myself not to panic. I was almost sure that this feeling had something to do with Edward.

"Would you mind if I asked you a question?" Edward asked.

"Go ahead."

"Why are you sitting alone? I noticed that you sat with your cousin yesterday."

I winced and decided to tell him the truth. Something told me that he actually cared about my answer. "We had a bit of a spat. I didn't think she'd want me to sit with her."

I glanced over at the rest of the Cullens and saw Alice laughing with the big Cullen. "Will you tell your sister that I'm sorry I didn't sit with her? I forgot all about it."

Edward kept his gaze on me. "She'll be fine. What did you and Bella argue about? If you don't mind my asking."

His face looked so open and concerned that I wanted to tell him every secret in the world. Then a part of my mind remembered yesterday, the dark look he gave Bella, his coldness. "Personal stuff. Don't worry we'll work it out."

Edward stared at me for a moment and felt disappointed. His emotions had been so even since he sat down that the disappointment surprised me. Maybe he actually wanted me to talk to him.

"I'm aware that we've just met, but I'd like you to know that you can talk to me whenever you want." He ran a hand through his bronze locks. "What I mean to say, is that if you need a friend, I can be that. Your friend, that is."

"You'd want to be my friend?"

"I'd like that very much."

"Well…me too. I'd, uh, like to be your friend too, Edward. Thank you." I was rewarded with a charming smile. One side of his smile lifted a little higher than the other, making it slightly crooked. His eyes lightened and his face became even more beautiful. I didn't think it was possible. Maybe I didn't need to stay away from the Cullens.

I was so overwhelmed with his happiness that I allowed myself to feel happy too. I feared I would turn into a big ball of mush if I kept watching his smile. The buzzing was still there but it was almost pleasant now. It felt like a connection to Edward.

"You have a wonderful smile," I blurted out. I silently cursed and blamed it on all the happy emotions coursing through me. His smile dimmed and he broke eye contact. I felt his embarrassment and disgust.

I felt like I'd been punched in the chest. He felt disgusted. _He probably thinks I'm coming on to him. He's probably not even gay. Even if he was, he wouldn't want me. He feels disgusted. By me._

My eyes burned slightly. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I wasn't thinking, I…I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, Edward." _Disgust_

I stood up and gathered my tray needing to get away before I really freaked him out and did something embarrassing, like crying. _He feels disgusted by me._

Edward looked up at me in panic. "No, Jasper! That's not it!"

My stomach churned. "What's not it?"

He stood up and raked his fingers through his hair. I decided this must be nervous trait. He squeezed his eyes shut and exhaled in extreme frustration. "You don't have to apologize. It's just…hard for me to take a compliment."

"Why?"

"Because I don't deserve them. I'm not a good person."

I frowned at him. There was definitely something weird about him but it wasn't necessarily bad. I tried to lighten the somber mood. "You don't seem so bad to me."

I gave him a weak smile but he didn't crack. I felt disgust coming off of him again. _He really is disgusted by me. I need to leave_.

"Jasper," Edward whispered. "I wish you wouldn't…I wish I could tell you."

"Tell me what?" He didn't answer me and I started to feel awkward for basically standing there staring at him.

"Look, Edward, I've got to get to class. Maybe I'll see you around." He stood with me and reached his hand out as if to touch me, but quickly lowered it. He felt sad and I still felt some remnants of his disgust from earlier.

I ducked my head in shame. I hated that I made him feel that way. He started to say something else and felt frustrated again. I turned and left the cafeteria because his emotions were giving me whiplash. I walked to the bathroom and splashed water over my face. Between the argument with Bella and the strong emotions coming from Edward, my day had taken a turn for the worse.

I finally went to class but stopped outside the door when I remembered Rosalie would be inside. I looked inside the room and saw that her seat was empty. She probably hadn't finished lunch yet. I walked to the teacher's desk and asked her if there were any more seats available in the room.

"Well, there's one right here in front. Do you not like sitting in the back?"

"I just feel like I would have a better chance of focusing, ma'am," I told her honestly. After I sat down, Rosalie entered the room in all her glory. Her cold, golden eyes flickered over me as she glided to her seat. The class went by fast because all we had to do was watch a movie in French and answer questions about it for homework. I left the class as soon as the bell rung so I wouldn't have to be near Rosalie.

When I reached my locker, I had to hunt for my class schedule. Since I went to the nurse's office yesterday, I missed my last two classes. I was signed up for Advanced Calculus II. Math had always been one of my stronger subjects so I wasn't too nervous about the class. Bella never came to my locker so I assumed she was still upset with me. And I even found myself looking for Edward, hoping to see his face or even hear his voice. I finally went to class when I realized that I was just standing by my locker like a sad puppy.

A handsome older man with a large smile greeted me as I walked through the door. "You must be Jasper Whitlock. I'm Mr. Mitchell; it's nice to meet you."

I smiled back at him. "You too, sir."

"Now there are a couple of free seats in the room. Feel free to sit wherever you'd like." I looked around the room and saw two empty seats in the back. I nodded a couple of other students and sat down, happy to have my distance. I got out a piece of notebook paper and began doodling in the margins to distract myself while I waited for class to begin. I didn't notice anyone sitting beside me until a deep, melodic voice made me jump out of my skin.

"Hey, how's it going?" It was the big Cullen with the curly dark hair. His eyes were the same odd gold as Edward's and Alice's. He was also just as abnormally attractive. He seemed even bigger now that I was close to him. I wondered if he found the desk to be comfortable.

"Pretty good, how about yourself?"

"It's good. You're Jasper right? I'm Emmett, nice to meet you." I noticed that he also didn't offer his hand. _Maybe no one wants to shake hands in Washington._

"Pleasure to meet you, Emmett." His emotions were pleasant to be around. Happy, without being overwhelming. I thought he was done with the conversation, but he surprised me when he made small talk.

"Jasper, huh? Not a common name."

I cracked a smile. "Tell me about it. It was my great-granddad's name. Guess my dad wanted to keep it going. I got a lot of grief about it on the playgrounds."

Emmett laughed so I decided to ask him a question in turn. "And what about Emmett? That's kind of uncommon."

He was quiet for a moment, thinking about his answer. "Well there definitely was an Emmett in my family in the early 1900s. He lived in Tennessee."

I nodded my head but paused when I felt dark humor pouring off of Emmett. I glanced at him and his face twitched with a smile then morphed back to a serious expression. _Another strange Cullen to add to the list_.

Emmett and I didn't talk anymore but he gave me a nod before leaving the class. I walked slowly down the hallway hoping to see Bella. She wasn't at her locker so I continued on my way to my last class. It was Advanced Physics. I groaned internally realizing that I would probably have a lot of homework this semester. There weren't any Cullens in this class. I felt disappointed in myself for constantly looking for them.

After a long, dry lecture, I walked to the parking lot. Bella wasn't by her truck. I stood there for a moment, wondering if I should go back inside and look for her. I turned to walk inside and almost ran into Edward. _How does this guy move so quietly?_

Standing this close to him, I noticed that I was about an inch taller. I ducked my head slightly and blushed, still embarrassed from my slip at lunch.

"Hello, Jasper." He gave me his crooked smile and I couldn't help but smile in return. The buzzing was back, my connection to Edward.

"Hey." I swallowed nervously. Edward's eyes darted the movement of my Adam's apple and darkened. "I just wanted to apologize for what I said at lunch. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable. Sometimes I just don't have a mental filter."

His eyes stopped at my mouth then finally came to my eyes. They were almost black. "Please, don't apologize. I didn't mean to react that way. Besides, I like knowing what you think."

"Yeah?"

"Definitely." His voice became so low it was almost a growl. The sound went straight to my body, making me aroused. I closed my eyes and willed my body to relax so my arousal wouldn't become _obvious_.

Edward's head snapped around to a shiny, silver Volvo in the parking lot. Rosalie was leaning against the hood glaring at us in anger.

"I'd better go. I don't want to keep my family waiting," Edward said in a husky voice. I nodded at Edward, disappointed that we couldn't continue our conversation. He told me he'd see me tomorrow and gracefully made his way across the parking lot. As I watched him walk away, I caught Rosalie's eyes. I automatically frowned at her. Any emotion I felt from her was always negative, I had no desire to associate with that type of person.

A flash of dark hair moved past me and I turned and called out to him.

"Hey," I said while approaching the guy, "you're Ben right?"

He smiled softly and his dark eyes twinkled. "Yeah, that's me. How was your second day?" His pleasant emotions reminded me of Angela. _I wonder if they're friends. _

"It was pretty good. Have you seen Bella?"

"Yeah, she had to stop by the office to turn in a few papers. She should be out here in a second."

Bella walked outside just as I finished talking with Ben. I went over to the passenger side of her truck, unsure of what to say to her. Calming images rushed through my head as I tried to block her emotions; I didn't want a repeat of this afternoon. If she wanted to me to know anything, she would just have to tell me. She surprised me by coming right up to me and wrapping her slender arms around my waist and burying her head in my chest. I stood in shock for a moment before wrapping my arms around her, smelling the strawberry scent of her shampoo.

"I love you, Jazz," she murmured into my chest.

"Hey." I tipped her chin so she could meet my eyes. "I love you, too."

She blinked rapidly, trying to keep her tears at bay. "I'm so sorry. I was awful earlier today, I didn't mean it."

I wanted to tell her that everything was okay but that wasn't true. Her words cut me deep because she knew how much I struggled daily with other people's emotions.

I still wanted to comfort her though. "I know you didn't mean it." _Did I?_

She hugged me for a moment longer before we finally decided to head home. Our silence wasn't comfortable like normal, it was loaded. I wanted to know what caused her to snap at me in the cafeteria. She was clearly keeping something from me and that hurt more than I would've liked to admit.

For me to continuously block her emotions was draining. When we arrived at Charlie's house, I tried to keep her company in the kitchen but I couldn't. My body strained with tension as I kept trying to block her. It felt unnatural for me to not feel the emotions around me. I stood from the kitchen table and muttered something about homework. I was almost to the staircase before she stopped me.

"What is it, Jazz?"

"Nothing, I'm just going to go up here and do my homework."

"You don't look good. Are you feeling sick again? Like you were at the nurse's office?"

She was obviously concerned. I could feel it trying to get through my block. My head ached. "I'm fine, Bella."

"Is it about earlier? Please don't be mad at me. I'm so sorry."

"I'm not," I cut her off, "I'm not _mad_. I'm just...I just need some time alone, ok?"

Her eyes glistened as she nodded. I turned away without a word. Once I got to my room, I went to bed. I must have fallen asleep because I felt a dip on my bed that made my eyes snap open. Bella sat there, looking over at me. I instantly tensed, trying to stay out of her emotions.

"It hurts you, doesn't it?" she whispered.

"What?" My voice cracked with sleep.

"Blocking out my emotions."

"Don't worry about me, Bella."

"What do you mean don't worry about you? I know when something's bothering you."

"And I know when something's bothering you too," I snapped. "Except I don't bite your head off when you're worried about me."

She flinched back, stung by my words. I couldn't bring myself to apologize. My body hummed with tension.

"Jazz, I-"

"Stop , Bella."

She stood up slowly and walked to the door. "I love you, Jazz."

"I know." I waited until she left before I stretched my stiff body and rolled back over. I stared off into space as I thought about how the next day would be. The only relaxing thought I had was of Edward. His gold eyes and crooked smile were tattooed to the inside of my lids. I finally fell asleep with a small smile on my face.

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Thank you all for reading. I'm in the process of responding to your wonderful reviews. I really appreciate all of the encouraging words. Please forgive any mistake this story is not beta'd.

Thank you for your patience.

As always, I'd love to know what you think.


	4. Hello Blackness

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things _Twilight._

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Chapter 4: Hello Blackness

"_The cancer's back." Exhaustion darkened the skin under her blue eyes._

_I could only stare at my mom in response. I tried to wrap my mind around it. She was diagnosed with cancer a little after my 14__th__ birthday. Now, three years later, it was back. After all the treatments and sickness it didn't even matter. It was back._

_I nodded my head slowly. "Ok. So when do the treatments start?"_

_I ran a hand through my wavy blonde hair. It was just reaching the bottom of my ears since I shaved it off to support my mom three years ago. I briefly wondered if we still had those old clippers so I could cut my hair the next day. My mom had originally been so upset about cutting her hair. It used to be a thick, wavy mane, flowing down her back. When it all grew back in, it was considerably thinner and completely straight. _

_As I wondered how my mom would take cutting her hair again, I noticed that she'd never answered my question._

"_Ma?"_

_Her eyes glistened and determination ran through her. "Jasper, baby. There's something I need to tell you."_

_My stomach clenched in fear because I felt something from her that I'd never felt before_. Resignation.

_I couldn't get any words out. I shook my head from left to right. My mind warped with random thoughts._

"_Baby, listen to me, ok? It's worse this time. The cancer's spread to my pancreas."_

_My chair made a loud squeak as I backed away from the table. My head never stopped moving from side to side._

"_The treatment wouldn't help, Jasper. It's stage IV. They're giving me six months. The treatment would _maybe_ give me an additional few months. But I can't go through this again." She stood and reached out to hug me but I jumped back. I opened my mouth to speak but my throat was too tight. My vision clouded as I spun around and headed for the front door. _

"_Jasper! Don't leave." It was too late. I was already running down the porch steps, away from everything._

"_You can't run away from this!" she called._

_I knew I couldn't, but I would still try._

My heart pounded as I sat in the middle of my bed. I glanced around the dark room in confusion, trying to remember where I was. It was only three o'clock in the morning and I knew sleep wouldn't come to me again. Sweat dripped down my forehead as I tried to calm myself. My muscles ached from stiffness and needed to be used. I quickly dropped to the floor and began doing sit-ups.

My abdominal muscles quivered with pain before becoming blissfully numb. After a few hundred sit-ups I turned over and started with the push-ups. When the sun finally came up, I went out for a jog. The temperature had dropped considerably since the beginning of the week. It didn't even matter that it was cold and raining, I still jogged until I couldn't feel anything anymore.

After I showered and dressed, I came down to find Bella sitting at the kitchen table. Her brows were furrowed as she swirled her spoon in the cereal bowl. I noticed that her shoulders were hunched and her left eye twitched slightly. I went back upstairs, grabbed what I needed then came back to the kitchen and handed it to Bella.

"What's this for?" she asked as she inspected the Tylenol pills I'd placed in her hands.

I filled up a glass of ice water and handed it to her as well. "You're about to get a headache. If you take this now you can stop it before it starts."

She gulped the water and pills and narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "How'd you know I was about to get a headache?"

The unspoken question was there. She was asking me if I was still digging around in her emotions. I clenched my jaw and closed the refrigerator. I was no longer hungry.

"I've been around you long enough to know when you are about to get sick. Don't worry, I haven't been 'rummaging' around in your emotions."

She dropped her eyes and remained quiet for a moment. I crossed the kitchen and headed towards the front door.

"I didn't mean it that way, Jazz. I was just asking."

"Save it, Bella. I'll be waiting in the truck."

I stepped out the front door and took a deep breath, allowing my lungs to fill with the cold, wet air. The huge red truck sat in front of the house mockingly. There was no way I could continue to be in such close quarters with Bella easily. I needed to find myself a car. A few minutes later, Bella came to the truck and we rode to school in an uneasy silence.

"Is it hard to do?" she finally asked. Even without my gift, I could tell she had wanted to ask me something.

"What?"

"To block out my emotions but keep feeling everyone else's."

"It doesn't work that way. When I have to block out one person's emotions, I have to block them all. And yes it is hard. It feels like someone is standing on my chest. Like someone is pulling on my arms and legs, trying to get me to follow them. It hurts. It physically hurts."

"I thought it would be easier this way. You would get so overwhelmed by everyone."

I looked at her sharply. "Yes, it's overwhelming but it's all I know."

Her eyes filled up with tears. I don't think she understood what it took for me to stay out of her emotions. "Jasper, I don't want to cause you any pain."

"Then tell me what it is that made you say that. What's the big secret?"

We pulled into the parking lot and Bella took the keys out of the ignition. "It's not my secret to tell."

"I thought we didn't keep secrets from each other."

"Jazz, I just need to work through some things myself. I need to know how I feel about it before you can rush and tell me."

I refused to let her see how much her words hurt me so I walked away without another word. My morning classes passed in a blur and my mood grew darker. By the time lunch came around my mood was black and I didn't even want to pretend to socialize.

I walked past the cafeteria, deciding to skip lunch. There were a few benches outside of the main building so I went outside to sit. Not many people were out due to the cold weather. I sat in the middle of the bench and exhaled. I felt the fatigue setting in from my restless night. Resting my elbow on my knee, I closed my eyes for a moment.

"Jasper?" His voice seemed to be more melodic each time I heard it. I kept my eyes closed as I responded.

"Hey, Edward."

"What are you doing out here all alone?"

I finally looked up at him. He stood there with his hands shoved in his pockets. His hair was perfectly messy and still made his appearance tailored.

"I wasn't feeling very sociable today."

"Oh." Disappointment flashed across his face before he forced a smile. "Well don't let me bother you."

I quickly made room for him on the bench. "No. You're not bothering me. Please stay."

He sat down on the opposite side of the bench. Even though we weren't talking I still felt better. He was the ray of sunshine in my dark day, as corny as that sounded. My stomach grumbled and Edward's eyes found mine.

"You're not eating."

"Neither are you."

Suddenly, he was on his feet heading back towards the lunchroom.

"Why are you leaving?" My voice sounded a little panicked.

"I'm getting you something to eat."

"You don't have to do that." I decided to be a little bold. "I would much rather you stay out here with me. And maybe we could talk. Or even just sit here together…if you want."

I felt my face flush from the embarrassment of basically begging him to stay. He looked utterly conflicted. His eyes were soft but determined as he glanced back towards the building. During his quiet turmoil, Alice glided outside with two large trays of food and a smile.

"Hello boys." I'd forgotten how beautiful all of the Cullens' voices were. I automatically stood to my feet to help her with the trays.

"Would you like to sit here, Alice? I don't mind standing." I was pretty sure that she would want to sit down as she ate. It was actually really sweet for her to bring Edward a tray of food. Thinking that she wanted alone time with her brother, I moved away from the bench and prepared to go back inside.

Alice appeared directly in front of me. "And just where do you think you're going, mister?"

Her words and expression were playful but I felt a sliver of unease when she blocked my exit. Edward had already taken both trays and was looking at Alice with an almost annoyed expression.

"Back inside. I was going to leave you two to eat." Actually, I was thinking of going to Bella's truck and taking a little nap. My exhaustion was basically hitting me over the head.

"I brought out these trays for you and Edward, silly. I figured you'd be hungry since you've decided to skip lunch." Her eyes narrowed slightly. "I've been saving a seat at the table, hoping you'd join us one day."

"Just keep that seat open for me. And thank you for the food. How much do I owe you?" I was already digging in my back pocket to get my wallet.

Alice shook her head. "Consider it incentive to come sit with us one day."

My hand dangled awkwardly to my side. "You're bribing me with cafeteria food? I'm not sure that's helping your case."

"Well I would have offered you something better but _somebody—_" she glanced at Edward, "is being particularly stubborn about a few details."

Edward glared at her and shook his head quickly. Alice's looked turned from playful to pleading causing a shadow to fall on Edward's face. Lips thinned and jaw clenched, Edward looked away from his sister, effectively ending their silent conversation.

"Well I do appreciate it," I said, sounding a little unsure. Alice's small, beautiful face was somber. It seemed completely wrong. I tried to fix it. "Hey, you don't have to bribe me, I'll gladly sit with you all. It's not that I don't want to, I'm just tryin' to work out a few things."

Alice looked at me for a moment before flashing me another brilliant smile. It seemed a little off. This wasn't a genuine smile, it seemed like more of a smile used for distraction.

"I hope everything does work out, Jasper," she said in a strained voice. She gave Edward one last look and went back into the building.

"Please." Edward gestured towards the bench. I took the food and looked at it doubtfully. It seemed innocent enough, actually it looked good. It was a grilled chicken breast on ciabatta bread with red peppers and cheese. I looked at Edward's tray and saw that his matched mine. Maybe the school had decided to invest a little more time in their cafeteria lunch. I took the first bite and realized how hungry I actually was. The sandwich was gone about two minutes after I started.

"Would you like mine as well?" Edward had been watching me devour the sandwich with an amused look. My stomach still felt far from satisfied.

"Do you really not want it?"

He laughed and I could only stare at him and hope that I would never forget it. I felt a little embarrassed after I finished his sandwich too.

"Sorry," I said. "I didn't have dinner last night." _Or breakfast this morning._

"Really, it's fine."

We sat quietly for a moment. "So, Edward, tell me about yourself."

I wasn't looking at him. I didn't want him to see how desperate I was to know everything about him.

"My name is Edward Cullen. I'm currently a junior. I have one brother and two sisters." After a moment of silence, I glanced at him and he didn't appear to have anything else to say.

"Oh." I must have failed at keeping the disappointment off of my face because Edward frowned in response.

"Why are you making that face?"

He didn't need to know that I was slowly becoming obsessed with him. "It's not important."

"Jasper." He ran a frantic hand through his hair and unleashed the full power of his eyes on me. They seemed almost golden. It really wasn't fair. "Please, tell me. I'm having an extremely difficult time reading you today."

"And other days?"

"Other days are easier," he admitted.

"You're actually hard for me to read too." _Especially with my own personal mental block going on._

"It's habit I suppose. I'm not use to having any _friends_." His voice faltered slightly on the word. I briefly wondered why.

"Generally, when friends are getting to know each other they tell a little more than the basic facts."

"Basic facts?"

"Name, classification and number of siblings."

He looked slightly embarrassed and hesitant but gave me a small crooked smile. "What would you like to know?"

I shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "I don't know. Hobbies? Interests?"

"I've played the piano since I can remember," he murmured.

"Yeah?" I turned toward him probably giving him an eager expression. "I've always wanted to play the piano."

"Really?" He mimicked my position, turning to me quickly. Our knees bumped.

"One of my favorite songs is _Nocturne in E_ by Chopin."

Edward's eyes lit up as he nodded his head vigorously. "That piece has always spoken to me. Like he played every emotion in his heart. His soul."

I was about to respond but the look in Edward's eye was breathtaking. How would anyone be capable of speaking when he looked that way? The silence between us became charged. The air was thick. He finally broke eye contact and stared straight ahead.

"Why did you move to Forks, Jasper?" he asked exasperatedly. His voice held a small accusation.

"It's complicated."

"I think I can keep up."

"My mom died about a year ago. Cancer." I spat the word, hating how it tasted in my mouth. "My aunt Renee was devastated. We all were. But I'm so much like her, my mom. Everything I did reminded Renee of her sister. I couldn't do that to her anymore. So I left."

"That was very selfless of you."

"No. It was selfish. I didn't want to be _around_ her pain anymore. I can't take it." Edward looked a little confused but didn't say anything else.

"I don't know how to do this," he admitted.

"I've never had many friends," I told him honestly. "I've always been a little…different. Bella's always understood me. That's why we're so close."

Edward looked at me with understanding in his eyes but remained silent. "I've always been different too," he said after some time.

"So we'll learn how to be friends together."

"Friends," he spoke softly, testing the word out.

"Yeah, that's what you said. That you wanted to be my friend. Did you change your mind?" I kept my face neutral not letting him see the rolling panic.

"It's not that." He tugged at his hair again. "Is that what you want us to be? Friends?"

His pale face seemed to glow against the gray sky. His expression was worried, like he was gauging my response.

At this point my heart was in my throat. "I would like us to start off as friends," I hedged.

"And in time?"

"I guess that will be up to you," I said refusing to put myself out there anymore. "What do you want?"

"I want…more." He looked a little surprised by his admission but immensely pleased. I was more than pleased. I was ecstatic. _Could he possibly return my infatuation?_ Probably not. But that didn't stop me from grinning like a fool.

The bell rung, snapping us out of our little bubble. We stood and faced each other, unsure of what to do next.

His expression became pained. "I'll see you after classes end?"

"Definitely."

I floated back to the building and into my French class. I vaguely remember Rosalie looking at me with open curiosity but I didn't pay her any attention. Emmett may have spoken to me in my Calculus class and I may have mumbled a response but I'm not sure. Because Edward said he wanted more. _More. _With me. Never had one word made me feel so good.

The bell rang and the day was over. I didn't even realize I went to my last class. I went to the parking lot, anxious to see him again. Bella was leaning against her truck waiting for me.

"Hey," she said softly.

I ruffled her hair slightly and put an arm around her shoulder. "Hey, Bella."

She smiled up at me and nuzzled into my side. "I hate when you're mad at me."

"Me too."

I looked across the parking lot and saw Edward leaning against his silver Volvo. He looked like a supermodel. Alice was perched on the hood talking animatedly. Rosalie and Emmett were nowhere in sight.

"Do you mind if I walk over and talk to Edward?" As if he heard me, his head snapped in my direction and he gave me that smile that was starting to mess with my equilibrium.

"Edward?" Bella said flatly. Her eyes were unreadable.

"Yeah. Edward." I narrowed my eyes at her. "Problem?"

"What have you two talked about?" she asked.

"Why?" I didn't like the way she was questioning me. When she didn't answer I turned so I could walk over to Edward.

"Maybe I'll walk with you," Bella grumbled.

"Fine."

Before we could even move, time seemed to slow down and speed up all at once. Edward's eyes widened in horror from across the parking lot. I heard the loud screech of a car slamming on brakes. A large van lost control and was skidding towards us. More specifically, towards Bella.

I didn't even think. I pushed her out of the way taking her spot and waiting for it all to be over. There was a loud thump but I didn't feel much pain. I opened my eyes and found myself looking into blackness. Edward was situated between me and the van. His hand was outstretched and it was _stopping_ the van from coming closer. There was even a huge dent around his hand, showing how much pressure he exerted.

"Are you okay?" His sweet breath washed over me as he visually inspected me.

"Where's Bella?"

"She's right here, Jasper," Alice's voice sounded from beside me. She was crouched down next to Bella whispering with her. "She has a cut on her knee, it will probably need stitches. Edward, you need to leave."

The last part of her statement was spoken in a hard voice.

"I'm fine, Alice," Edward gritted out between clenched teeth. His eyes seemed to burn into me as he spoke. His black eyes. _How are his eyes black now?_

"I think you may have hit your head," he murmured.

I tried to sit up but the world tilted dangerously. I felt a dull ache at the back of my head. "I think you're right. Bella?"

"I'm good, Jasper." She scrambled over to me, ignoring Alice's protest. "Are you okay? You saved me! You could have died! You can't do that, Jasper. You can't die!"

"I'm fine, Bella, really." I grabbed her hand to comfort her as she sobbed quietly. Alice looked between us with a smile then frowned at Edward.

"Leave. Now." Her voice was steel.

Edward made a small noise that sounded like a growl. "There's no way I'm leaving while he's still here. I said I'm fine so leave it be."

"So help me, Edward, if anything happens to her…"

"I'm not going to say it again, Alice."

Bella and I were quiet during their exchange. I was just happy that she was okay. I couldn't even begin to fathom how Edward stopped the van. Two ambulances showed up. Bella and I shared one while Tyler got the other.

"I'm so sorry! I was going too fast and the roads were slick! Are you two okay?" Tyler looked to be in worse shape than me and Bella. His arm was at an odd angled.

Before the door closed, I looked at Edward. Emmett and Rosalie had come over to the accident along with the entire school population. Rosalie looked absolutely livid. Emmett had a somber face as he placed a calming hand on his shoulder. Edward and Alice seemed to be the ones getting yelled at but their features held no remorse.

Edward looked at me and smiled and in the middle of all the chaos, it was the only thing that mattered.

* * *

Thank you all for reading. I hope you all weren't terribly disappointed by the wait. I really appreciate your support, it means so much to know that people are enjoying the story. I hope this chapter lived up to your expectations.

The good news is that I've finally finished my undergrad. The bad news is I have no job. So…you will probably be seeing more updates from me as I wait from responses from possible employers. Anyway, please forgive any mistakes, this story is not beta'd.

Thank you for your patience.

As always, I'd love to know what you think.


	5. Goodbye Sanity

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things _Twilight._

* * *

Chapter 5: Goodbye Sanity

_I walked through the empty hallways of school trying to find him. Every time I turned a corner I could see a glimpse of his bronze hair. I tried to speed up but my legs felt heavy. I opened my mouth to call out to him but nothing came out. I didn't want him to leave. Why was he leaving? _

_I went to the cafeteria and there he sat at an empty table. By the time I reached him my voice was back. "Edward, why are you running from me?"_

_His face looked different. His eyes were black and his skin seemed even more pale than normal. The angles of his jaw seemed sharper._

"_Don't you see?" His voice was pained. I reached out my hand to soothe him but he was already across the room._

"_Edward!"_

"_Don't you see, Jasper?" This time his voice was behind me, causing me to turn around. We were now inside of the front office._

"_Edward?" Mrs. Cope's voice called from my right. "Have you met Jasper and Isabella?"_

_Edward's face was murderous. He looked at Bella with hunger and pain. I stepped in front of Bella to protect her from him. His black eyes suddenly bore into mine. "Do you see now?"_

"_What am I supposed to see?"_

_I was now standing next to Bella in the parking lot. Edward and Alice watched us from across the lot. A van sped towards us and I pushed Bella aside. Edward appeared in front of me and held out his hand causing the van to crumble around it._

"_Are you ok?" His breath was so sweet. I watched as his eyes turned from amber to pitch black. But I couldn't answer because my mouth was suddenly not working again._

"_Edward!" Alice called. She had her body wrapped protectively around Bella. "You need to leave. I won't let you hurt her!"_

_Edward glanced down at me again. "Do you see now?"_

I woke to the sound of someone clearing their throat. "Hello, Jasper. My name is Dr. Cullen."

He had blonde hair that shone like a halo. It was easy to imagine him as a movie star with his good looks. I noticed that he had the same pale skin and golden eyes that the rest of the Cullens had. His smile was friendly but his eyes were guarded.

I nodded at him in greeting. My head throbbed as he told me about Bella. She was fine with the exception of needing a few stitches. He then told me that I had a pretty bad concussion and that they would like to keep me overnight for observation.

Charlie came in as Dr. Cullen took my blood pressure. "Jasper, how're you feeling?"

"My head hurts." That seemed to be the only thing I could feel at the moment.

"What happened out there? Bella's still a little shaken up. She just keeps saying that you saved her."

I could tell that Dr. Cullen was listening intently to me as he wrote in the chart. With my head pounding, I had no choice but to feel everything around me again. It was somewhat of a relief. "We were in the parking lot when a van lost control and almost hit us. I pushed Bella out of the way and Edward moved me to make sure the van didn't hit me."

Charlie rubbed his mustache and looked at Dr. Cullen. "Edward, huh? That's your kid isn't it?"

Dr. Cullen gave a terse nod as he tested my reflexes.

"I didn't know the two of you were friends," Charlie continued. "So you all were just hanging out by Bella's truck when the van came?"

Dr. Cullen actually looked right at me before I answered. His look seemed almost pleading. That's when it hit me. _He knew_. Somehow, he knew that Edward seemed to almost teleport over to me in the parking lot.

"Yeah, we were talkin' about school and stuff when the van came over. I was really lucky that Edward was standing next to me."

I could feel Dr. Cullen's relief. He looked at me and gave me a smile that should put him on Crest commercials. "I'll be back to check on you soon, Jasper. You'll probably be getting sleepy soon. I've set you up with some pain medication that causes drowsiness. There will be a nurse coming in every couple of hours to wake you."

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen." And I really meant that, because my head felt like it was about to split down the middle and I was desperate for relief.

Charlie stayed for a while longer, grumbling about revoking Tyler's license, before going back to check on Bella. My head pounded so I just closed my eyes for a second.

_Bella tapped her fingers on the starring wheel excitedly. She turned and gave me a smile with her brown eyes twinkling. I had never seen her so excited to get to school._

"_Bella?" We were standing in front of the cafeteria. "Alice Cullen invited us to sit with her."_

_She gave me that smile again and I could feel her happiness. She spotted Alice from across the room and something inside of her shifted. _

_She turned and glared at me. "Stop rummaging around in my emotions, Jasper!"_

_I tried to speak but she was already standing next to Alice. "How would you like if someone was digging around in your mind?"_

"_Bella, tell me what's going on!"_

_We stood next to her truck again. Edward and Alice ran towards us with a speed that was incomprehensible. The van crumbled around Edward's hand. _

_Bella looked at me from behind Alice. "It's not my secret to tell, Jazz."_

"Jazz?" Bella's voice stirred me from my sleep. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm thirsty," I rasped. "And my head hurts. How's your leg?"

"It's fine. I needed 11 stitches." She handed me a cup of water. I took a sip and looked down at her leg. She had on shorts and her knee was wrapped.

"Where'd you get the shorts from?" She'd worn jeans to school that day.

A faint blush covered her cheeks. "I had a pair of shorts in my book bag for gym. Alice brought it to me a while ago."

"Alice is here?"

"She wanted to make sure we were ok." She broke eye contact with me and began straightening my covers. I only looked at her in response.

"Bella, I need to tell you something." She stopped fidgeting and finally looked at me.

"You can tell me anything, Jasper."

I took a deep breath. "I'm not going to stay out of your emotions anymore. It's too hard and it feels unnatural for me to be someone I'm not."

She remained silent. I tried to gauge how she was feeling but her emotions were everywhere. The only thing I could feel was an underlying current of remorse.

"We don't have to talk about," I said. "I know it's not my business. But if you ever want to talk about anything I'm here for you."

"I never meant to make you feel that way, Jazz. Can you forgive me?"

"I know you never meant to hurt me," I answered.

We talked for a while longer until I basically kicked her out. She was adamant about keeping me company for the night but I wasn't entirely sure I wanted her there. I was distracted as she made her way to the door. I started thinking about my dreams. They made me feel…uneasy.

Thinking about Edward made a new set of questions appear. _How did he reach me so fast? How did he stop the van?_

_

* * *

_

Edward came through the door before Bella left. He seemed frozen as he watched her. Bella took a small step back.

"Hello, Edward," she greeted timidly.

Edward nodded his head. "Bella."

Bella kissed my cheek before walking out the door, giving Edward a wide berth. Once she left the room Edward and I were enclosed in silence.

I regarded him warily, still a little shaken from my dreams. "Edward."

That one word sprung him into action. He was refilling my water, fluffing my pillows and moving all around.

"You don't have to do all that," I chuckled.

He stopped smoothing down the blanket and looked at me shyly. He gave me a bashful, crooked smile. "How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts," I repeated for the hundredth time that day. Edward frowned but didn't say anything else.

"Edward?" I watched his Adam's apple bob before he answered.

"Yes, Jasper?"

"You saved me."

"I know."

I wondered if he would elaborate but he just watched me with dark eyes. The anxiety was pouring off of him. I really didn't know what to say next. _Did I even want to know?_

"Thank you."

There wasn't anything left to say. I could feel his walls going up. I started feeling the buzzing sensation that had been absent the last few days. I jerked my eyes towards him.

"I don't know how you're doing that but stop. My head hurts."

His thick eyebrows furrowed. "What are you talking about?"

The buzzing increased and I thought my head might explode. "Please stop. It hurts."

His eyes burned into mine. "What is it you think I'm doing?"

"I don't know." I was frustrated and in pain. "Can you just sit with me and relax?"

"You want me to relax?" One side of his mouth lifted but the worry never left his eyes. "Shouldn't you be the one who is relaxing?" I nodded my head and then flinched at the movement. He immediately came closer to me.

"What can I do?" he asked softly.

"I'm kind of tired. Will you sit by me while I rest my eyes?"

"Of course." I heard the chair scrape as he moved closer.

"Will you talk to me?" I was suddenly desperate to hear his voice.

"What would you like to talk about?"

"Something that makes you happy."

"It's been so hard for me to find happiness. But I have found things that make me appreciate the world's beauty," he began. His voice was already lulling me into a state of relaxation. He began describing scenery of the places he'd visited. With my eyes closed, I could picture the sun setting over the ocean and smell the clean scent of the rainforest. I could hear the crescendos of his favorite songs and feel the soft leather of his favorite couch.

"There is something else that makes me happy," he said after some time.

"What's that?" I mumbled. I was excited, ready to experience another one of his favorite things.

"You." I cracked my eye open to look at his face. His jaw was clenched and he looked down at his hands.

"Hey," I whispered. His eyes shot up to mine looking soft and uncertain. "I wish I could describe how you make me feel. I'm a person that _feels_ a lot. In the chaos of my world, you're the only thing that soothes me."

He closed his eyes and inhaled. "I understand exactly how you feel."

There were no other words said. We sat contently in our charged atmosphere. I'd never even touch Edward's hand before but that didn't matter because he was beside me. With him there, I fell asleep with a smile because all was right in my world. For the time being.

Edward stayed with me the entire night. Every time I would get woken up by a nurse, he would help me go back to sleep by telling me more about himself. Even as he talked, I knew he was holding something back from me. It probably had to do with his ability to be faster and stronger than any other person.

* * *

Bella fussed over me as soon as we got back to Charlie's house. It was Saturday so she would be around all day.

"Are you sure I can't get you anything?" she asked again.

"Positive. I just need some sleep."

So that's how the weekend passed. Bella became my personal maid while I tried not to snap at her for coddling me. By the time school rolled back around, I was more than happy to get out of the house. Once we arrived at school, there were people that I'd never seen before asking about my health.

"Jasper!" I turned around to see Tyler running towards me. His arm was in a cast.

"Yeah, Tyler?"

His dark eyes locked with mine. He was a little over six feet but I still had him by a couple of inches. "I just wanted, no _needed_, to make sure you and Bella are ok."

"We're good, seriously. Bella needed a few stitches and I'm fine."

He put his hand on my shoulder. His guilt was almost tangible. "I can't even tell you how sorry I am. The roads were slick but that is no excuse for my careless driving."

"Tyler, really, don't beat yourself up about it. I'm just glad we're all ok."

He nodded his head slowly but the grief was still present in his eyes. I didn't really know what else to say that could make him feel better.

My first few classes passed slowly. My headache was dull but it seemed to make each minute last longer. By the time lunch rolled around I was looking forward to seeing Edward. I looked down the hallway and saw Alice standing at her locker.

"Hey, Alice," I greeted. She gave me a slight smile.

"How are you, Jasper?" She felt resigned about something. I could only wonder what made her normally bright mood so somber.

"I'm fine." She gave a nod and continued to stare up at me.

I cleared my throat. "Bella told me you came out to the hospital."

Something shifted inside of her when she heard Bella's name. Before I could identify it, it was gone, replaced by resignation.

"Yes, I just came to make sure you two were ok, and then I left."

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Right. Well I 'preciate it. I'm glad Bella had someone with her."

"It was my pleasure."

After another awkward pause she started to move away. "Alice, I was wonderin' if that invitation still stands to eat with your family."

Her smile dropped. "Actually, I'm not going to the cafeteria today. I needed to check out a few books in the library and do a little homework."

"Oh," I said feeling disappointed. "Is Edward planning on eating lunch?"

"I don't think so. He said something about meeting with one of his teachers. Sorry." She gave me an apologetic look before walking down the hallway.

"Right," I mumbled to myself. I didn't want to go to the cafeteria so I walked outside to the benches. I secretly hoped that Edward would come out and join me again but soon the bell rang and I had to get to class.

Rosalie's cold eyes lingered on me for a moment before she made her way to her seat. I drew sketches outside the margins of my notes. When class was over I looked down and noticed that I'd drawn a picture of an eye that stared at me intently.

I was early for my next class. This time I used a blank sheet of paper to sketch on. I'd forgotten how soothing it was for me to draw. Emmett sat down next to me. He gave me a small nod and turned away, his eyes held the same apologetic look that Alice's did.

After my last class, I took my time walking to the parking lot. I was keeping an eye out for Edward, hoping to talk to him. He was nowhere in sight. I sighed and decided to head to the truck. As I walked, a wave of dizziness caused me to stumble. Before any damage could be done, a strong pair of hands gripped my shoulders. I knew it was Edward without even looking.

"Thank you, Edward."

He quickly put his hands by his side and looked away. I shifted and accidently dropped one of my books. Edward and I reached for the book at the same time. It was only a second, but my hand touched his skin. I jerked back in surprise. His skin felt extremely cold and hard. It was like touching a marble sculpture that had been left outside in the snow.

He mumbled an apology and thrust the book at me feeling disgusted. Before I could say anything, he turned to walk away.

"Edward, wait!"

His shoulders stiffened but he stopped, still facing away from me. I walked in front of him so he would have to look at me. His eyes were angled down.

"Edward," I said softly. He finally looked at me. His eyes flickered to my mouth then back to my eyes.

"Yes, Jasper?"

Suddenly I was extremely nervous. I was only an inch taller than Edward but my uncertainty made me slouch. Something in my gut told me that the Cullens were no longer trying to be my friends. I just had to hope that it wasn't too late between me and Edward.

"I was wonderin'," I started quietly. I rubbed the back of my neck again. "Would you like to listen to music with me this evening? I was hopin' you would like a couple of my favorites." Over the weekend I went through a bunch of my CDs and found songs that I thought Edward would like. I was excited to see if he would like them too.

He closed his eyes tightly and several emotions ran through him at once. I could hardly keep up. I'd never felt emotions so deep and strong from another person. He quickly replaced them all with tranquility. The tranquility was tinged with the same resignation Alice felt earlier.

"I'm afraid I can't, Jasper. I'm sorry."

"Maybe another time then," I said trying to keep my voice calm. My heart clenched at the thought of not being able to spend time with him. He obviously didn't want to spend time with me. I wondered what happened to the kind, open Edward who spent time with me at the hospital.

The ride home was tense. Bella and I never discussed what happened the day of the accident. It was like an elephant in the room. We didn't talk about anything anymore. Our conversations never made it further than the mundane happenings at school.

* * *

The next few weeks of school passed in a dark cloud. Bella and I grew further apart. The Cullens kept a noticeable distance from me. Alice would give me a smile but otherwise didn't say anything. I didn't even see Edward during the day; I would only catch a glimpse of his bronze hair as he sped out of the parking lot. I was desperate to talk to him. I didn't understand what I could have done to deserve such avoidance from him.

After another week passed I finally saw Edward after school, walking to his car. "Edward, may I talk to you for a moment?"

"My family's waiting for me," he said flatly. The rest of his family stood by his car talking with each other.

"I won't take much of your time," I said. I was becoming discouraged by his cold attitude. "I just needed to ask you somethin'."

He looked hesitant. "Ok."

"Did I do something to offend you?"

His golden eyes softened. "Of course not, Jasper. You haven't done anything wrong."

"Is this about the accident last month? The way that you ran across the parking lot faster than anything I've ever seen?"

His eyes narrowed and he spoke coldly. "No one would ever believe you."

I was taken aback by his tone. "What have I done to make you think I would tell anyone? That was over a month ago and I still haven't said anything. Did I do something to make you think otherwise?"

"No, but it's not safe for you to be around me." His lips flattened into a thin line. "But, please, don't think it's because you've done something wrong. This is _all _me."

I was confused by his mention of danger but couldn't focus on it at the time. "I thought that you wanted _more_ with me."

"It doesn't matter what I want."

"What about me? Does it matter what I want?" I was starting to get a little annoyed.

"Jasper, I can't allow you to make that kind of decision."

"_Allow_ me?" My eyebrows raised in incredulity. "I wasn't aware that I was being _allowed_ to do or not do anything."

"Excuse me," said Edward, visibly flustered. He ran a hand through his hair, causing it to flop on his forehead. "What I'm trying to say is…" He sighed. "I'm too dangerous to be around you."

"Who says?"

"I do."

"Then that's it then. You just decide that you're too dangerous for me and that's it."

"Jasper," he sighed.

"No, it's fine. I understand."

I walked away from him so I could maintain some dignity. He really didn't want to be around me. He was obviously incredibly fast and strong but I didn't see him hurting anyone else at school. Why was he so sure he would hurt me? Maybe he just didn't think I was worth the effort.

When we got back to Charlie's house Bella surprised me with a warm hug. I squeezed her back and smiled a little. "What was that for?"

"You were so down on the way home. I know we haven't been talking a lot lately but I'm here for you."

"Thanks," I said. "I'm here for you, too."

* * *

The next day was one of the first sunny days I'd experienced since moving to Forks. I could tell that everyone was enjoying the weather because all the outside benches and tables were full.

"Jasper, over here!" Tyler waved at me from a table with Mike, Angela, Jessica and Bella. I couldn't help but look for Edward. I hadn't seen any of the Cullens all day. I ate my lunch quietly and try to appear interested in the conversation. Bella looked at me and rolled her eyes when Jessica droned on about some TV show. I gave a quiet chuckle.

"The Cullens are so lucky," Jessica sighed. She instantly had my attention.

"How so?" Bella asked. I noticed that she was as curious as I was.

"Whenever it's nice outside, Dr. Cullen takes them out of school for a camping trip. My parents would never do something like that for me."

Mike seemed bored with the conversation. "So are we still on for La Push this weekend?"

"Definitely," said Jessica, hanging onto Mike's every word. She would have probably agreed to go anywhere with him.

"Bella, Jasper? What about you?" Mike only cared about whether Bella was coming or not.

Bella looked around the table and blushed when she saw all eyes were on her. "Maybe. If Jasper wants to come."

I shrugged. It really didn't matter to me. Over the last few weeks I'd only been listening to music and working out. It wouldn't kill me to get out of the house for a little while. "Sure."

"Ugh, why did you agree to go to this thing?" Bella asked as we rode home from school. "I was hoping you would say no and make me look like the good guy." She made a silly face at me causing me to laugh.

"If you didn't want to go why didn't you say so?"

"Cause they've been trying to get me to go somewhere with them for the last few weeks. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later."

"Poor Bella, forced to hang out with people who want to spend time with her."

She poked my side. "Shut it. You heard how Jessica can go on and on about nothing."

* * *

The good weather stayed for the rest of the week which meant that the Cullens were still absent. I couldn't help but feel a little crushed as I saw the empty parking lot spot where Edward parked. Charlie was happy about the two of us going to La Push. He thought we were spending too much time at home.

It didn't take us too long to reach the beach in La Push. It was still cool enough for everyone to wear jackets but the sun made it a little warmer. Someone brought a stereo so we all listened to music and talked. I sat back and soaked up the good times. I smiled and laughed more than I had in a while.

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and saw Jacob standing next to me. I stood up to shake his hand.

"Hey, Jacob. How's it going?"

"Pretty good. I didn't know you and Bella would be out this way."

"Yeah we decided to come with a few friends from school."

"Cool." He called over his friends. "Let me introduce you to some of the guys. This is Embry and Quil.

I nodded at the two tall guys with the same russet skin as Jacobs. I snickered when they fell over themselves in front of Bella. Jacob slapped their shoulders and laughed.

"And this is Sam and Blue."

Sam gave me a quiet greeting and continued to watch everyone interact. The guy next to him had on a pair of sunglasses and gave me a warm smile.

"I'm Blake, but the guys have always called me Blue."

I couldn't help but smile back. "Do you mind if I ask why?"

He took off his sunglasses and showed me an amazing pair of ice blue eyes. They contrasted greatly with his russet skin. It was his most prominent feature.

"Oh, I can definitely understand." I was a little embarrassed about staring at him. "I think I'd like to call you Blake if that's ok."

"That's more than ok," he gave me a perfect smile and put his sunglasses back on. "We're about to go on a walk did you and Bella want to come?"

Bella nodded enthusiastically while she and Jacob continued to talk. "Sam, what about you?" Jacob questioned.

"No. I'm going to stay here with Quil and Embry."

The four of us began walking away from the beach. "I think Sam's taking the legends a little too far," Jacob said as he swatted a few branches out of the way.

"I know." Blake leaned against a tree once we all stopped. "Did you see his new tattoo?"

Jacob looked between me and Bella and explained. "He has a new tattoo that goes with one of our old legends about the wolf."

Blake took over. "They say that the Quileute tribe descends from wolves. One of our ancestors ran into an evil being that was destroying the town and everyone he loved. He prayed for his ancestors to help him. When he watched one of his daughters die he felt an unimaginable rage take over his body. He suddenly turned into a wolf. Fueled by his grief, he took a large bite and tore off the evil beings head."

"What was the evil being? Why was he killing everyone?" Bella was obviously shaken by the story.

"He was drinking their blood." Jacob said after a moment of silence. "He described him as being unnaturally beautiful. He was extremely pale and cold with blood red eyes. And no one could out run him or fight him off. Our ancestors referred to him as the cold one, but I guess people would call him a vampire today."

"A vampire," I whispered, feeling strange about the word.

Jacob looked at me oddly. "But some of our people take the legends more seriously than others. Someone was talking about the Cullens today and Sam flipped out. He started saying how they weren't welcome here. It's like he really believes all that stuff."

* * *

After we left the beach, Bella and I silently rode back to Charlie's. We both were lost in our own worlds. We went our separate ways and I was finally in my bed staring at the ceiling. Jacob and Blake's story replayed in my mind. Then I thought about their comment about the Cullens. I didn't want to believe in supernatural creatures but Edward seemed to fit the profile: super speed and strength, cold skin, inhuman beauty. But their eyes weren't red, I would have noticed that.

But what else could they be? My mind already knew the answer even if I didn't want to admit it. Deep down I knew. As impossible as it seemed.

Edward Cullen was a vampire.

* * *

Thank you all for reading.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I promise that it didn't seem so choppy when I thought of it. It's not one of my favorites but I still hope it was enjoyable to you.

I'm going back and responding to the reviews I missed last time. I really appreciate them all and would never intentionally ignore someone who reviews.

I still don't have a job. I thought I would be updating this story sooner but I've actually been spending a lot of time reading other people's work. I've also started a new story that's an Edward/Bella pairing called _My Apprehensive Love._

Anyway, I want to thank everyone for taking the time to read my little story. I hope it's not a disappointment. I will respond to all reviews. I hope I haven't rambled too much.

As always, I'd love to know what you think.


	6. Hello Answers

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things _Twilight._

* * *

Chapter 6: Hello Answers

_I didn't dream._

After discovering that Edward was a vampire, I expected my dreams to be filled with bloodsucking monsters and horror. But they weren't. I didn't dream at all.

I assumed that my mind may have gone into some kind of overload. As I jogged, I wondered if I should be afraid of Edward. Should this new piece of information change all of my feelings about him? Did anything really change besides my new found knowledge?

Edward was the same person. He was the same person that sought out friendship with me. The same person who could make me smile. He saved my life, he showed me kindness. Even though he'd been ignoring me, I still looked forward to just being in his presence.

I didn't pay attention to Bella as I ate breakfast or when we rode to school. When we pulled in the parking lot my heart thundered as I saw the silver Volvo in its usual spot. Would I confront him? Would I just walk up to him and tell him I know his secret?

By the time lunch came around, I still hadn't seen him. I decided to eat in the cafeteria in hopes of seeing him with his family. As soon as I entered the cafeteria, I saw Edward having, what seemed to be, a heated discussion with Alice.

They both stopped talking and looked in my direction causing my cheeks to warm. Edward said something else and then walked swiftly out of the side door. Alice's tiny hands formed fists before she stalked over and sat with Emmett and Rosalie.

As I walked over to the lunch line, Jessica stepped in front of me. "Hi, Jasper."

"Hey, how's it goin'?" I was a little wary because I could tell that she wanted something, I just wasn't sure what.

"Um, actually, I wanted to talk to you about something. Is now a good time?"

I shrugged and placed a container of milk and a club sandwich on my tray. "Yeah, sure. What's up?"

"There's a Sadie Hawkins dance this Saturday and it's, um, girl's choice of course. So I was wondering if you'd want to go. With me, I mean."

"Oh," I said uncomfortably. "I appreciate the offer. But I already have plans this Saturday."

She fixed her face in what she thought was attractive pout. "What kind of plans?"

I frowned at her insistence. "The busy kind. Besides, I don't think Mike would appreciate it if I went to the dance with you."

"Mike?" She quickly looked over at him. "You think Mike might care?"

I paid for my lunch and hers then carried our trays to the table. "I _know _Mike would care." I whispered the last bit and winked at her. Her face turned crimson and she said a quiet thank you before sitting down.

Lunch passed with me watching the door for Edward to come back. He didn't. In my distraction, I had somehow agreed to go with Jessica, Angela, and Bella to Port Angeles for the evening. Apparently, Jessica and Angela wanted a male's opinion of the outfits they wanted to purchase for the dance.

I had hoped that my French class would pass quickly but luck wasn't on my side. The teacher put us into groups of three to work on an assignment. I had to work with Rosalie and a quiet girl named Lucy. I noticed that she was less than thrilled with working with me and the feeling was entirely mutual.

The girl, Lucy, was pleasant enough. She was a little awestruck by Rosalie's beauty but managed to complete her part. Rosalie and I sat as far away from each other as possible. I could just feel the darkness rolling off her. Boredom, unhappiness,_ misery. _

I finished quickly and handed my paper to Lucy, letting her check over everything. Rosalie glared at me, annoyed beyond reason. My body struggled under her stare. The word vampire kept popping in my head. Lucy was oblivious to the tension and chattered on about something in the book. Rosalie's golden eyes turned darker as she watched me. The contempt intensified as she looked down her nose at me.

I clenched my jaw because I _hated_ being around her. I hated her emotions. I hated her glare. I hated that I had to work on this assignment with her. I hated the assignment. I hated the desk. I hated my pencil.

I gripped it so hard that it snapped in my hand. A piece of wood wedged itself in my thumb and a drop of blood oozed to the surface.

I looked at Rosalie in panic. Would she attack me? Would I die?

Her eyes were completely black as she stared at my thumb. I gasped as her hate faded to hunger. She looked at me and I watched her put the pieces together.

_She knew._

She knew that I knew. Her lips peeled back over her startling white teeth in the most frightening expression I had ever seen. I stumbled out of my seat and asked to be excused to the restroom.

My limbs felt shaky so I sat down by the lockers in the hallway. I breathed in and out, calming myself the only way I knew how. I didn't return to class until the bell rang. Rosalie was still there. She stood to her full height which was at least five inches shorter than me. Her eyes were full of accusations.

She opened her mouth to speak, but I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to even be in the same room as her. I grabbed my books and made a hasty exit.

I was still jittery in my next class. Emmett ignored me but even he felt grim about something. His normally smiling face was drawn, making him even more intimidating. By the time school was over, I was a paranoid mess. Edward's Volvo whipped out of the parking lot and I watched it go with dread.

I obviously wasn't supposed to know anything about them. Were they deciding my fate?

* * *

Bella and I rode to Port Angeles in our usual silence. We still hadn't been talking much. The conversations we did have were superficial. My mind continued to jump to the Cullens while Bella seemed to be in deep thought as well. We soon arrived at the store then Angela and Jessica started looking through the racks.

I was incredibly bored as the girls tried on their dresses. Bella pulled out a book and ignored everyone completely. I just stared out the window and watched people walk by. I could hear the girls arguing but still didn't look over at them.

"What do _you _think, Jasper?" Jessica stood in front of me with a skin tight green dress. The neckline plunged causing her breasts to spill over. She gave an awkward twirl and looked at me hopefully.

I cleared my throat, feeling more uncomfortable by the second. "I think it's a really nice color."

She waited me for say more but was disappointed by my short answer. She and Angela continued to bicker over the dress while I decided that I'd had enough.

"Bella," I whispered. "I pretty sure I'm at my limit."

Bella glanced up from her book with a smile, her large brown eyes twinkling in amusement. "You lasted longer than I thought you would."

I nudged her side, making her giggle. "I'm headin' out to look around for a while. You'll be ok here?"

"Yeah, I saw a book store next door. I might stop in there for a while."

After I left the store, I walked around for a few blocks. It was nice just to enjoy the crisp air.

I walked into a music store with a content smile. I walked straight to the guitars and just stared. My hands twitched by my side, longing to touch the strings. I closed my eyes and remembered my mom sitting on a chair, struggling to play a Beatles' song. It took her a month just to get a few chords but she was so happy doing it.

The soothing sounds of a piano filled the air and I automatically walked towards it. I stopped in shock when I recognized the player. "Blake?"

His ice blue eyes snapped open and a wide smile stretched his russet skin. "Jasper, how are you?"

He stood to shake my hand and towered over me. He seemed to have grown about four inches in the last month. "Did you go through a growth spurt?"

He dismissed my question with a shrug. We talked for a while about his skills on the piano. He told me that he taught himself when he was six on his grandma's old piano.

"So you were like a child prodigy?"

His face tinted red. "That's what my mom says but I don't know."

I learned that he was also a senior in high school. We actually had a few colleges in common on our wish lists. Time seemed to fly and I had the most fun I'd had in weeks. Blake was incredibly easy to talk to and laid back. We exchanged phone numbers promising to get together every once in a while to hang out.

After he left I looked at the guitars again with a goofy smile on my face, still feeling warm from my conversation with him. My phone vibrated, alerting me that I had a text message.

_I'm all done here. You need more time? –Bella_

It had already started to get dark so I decided to leave the shop, waving to the lady at the register.

_I'm done. On my way to the truck now. -J_

After I sent the text to Bella, I walked past a couple of bars and saw an alley that would take me directly to the spot Bella parked. It would shave at least 10 minutes off my walk. Right as I turned into the alley, I noticed a group of guys behind me talking loudly and laughing. Even without my gift, I could tell they were drunk.

"You think you're tough? The only person you fight is you wife," one of the guys said. The rest laughed openly.

"Shut up, Lonny!"

I sped up my pace slightly, trying to get away from them. I silently cursed my decision to walk down this alley.

"What about that guy? You think you can take him or is he not small enough?"

"I said shut up!" His pace quickened and I could tell he was trying to get to me. A couple of guys appeared at the end of the alley, blocking my exit. I had no choice but to stop and face them.

I turned around slowly. "Look fellas, I'm not lookin' for any trouble."

The guy closet to me was about five inches shorter with small arms and a protruding belly. Someone behind him finally broke the silence. "You say anything about trouble, Frank?"

Frank smiled at me drunkenly. "I didn't say anything about trouble, Lonny. Maybe we just want to see how a cowboy like yourself can fight."

I quickly looked around for any objects I could use to defend myself when I saw a broken metal pipe lying on the ground. I picked it up and held it in front of me defensively.

"Stay away from me," I said in a loud voice. Two of the guys were already feeling bored with this scene. They didn't want an actual fight to occur.

"Just leave the kid alone, Frank," one of the guys said.

The guy named Lonny was actually excited at the thought of seeing a fight. "Yeah, Frank. Don't embarrass yourself by letting this kid knock you out. Why don't you just go back home to your wife and smack her around a few more times?"

Frank took his rage that was directed at Lonny and looked at me. He felt desperate, as if fighting me would make him more of a man. He charged at me, but I was quicker. With a swipe of the pipe, I hit his right knee with a deafening crack. Frank howled in pain, clutching his knee. A couple of the guys snickered but made no move to help him.

I saw a glint of metal as Lonny pulled out a pocket knife. "Now I just don't think it's fair that you had a weapon when Frank didn't. Let's even things up a bit."

He stalked towards me, thriving on the fight. Before he could get to me, bright headlights momentarily blinded all of us. My heart thumped unevenly as I saw Edward standing before us with a deadly expression.

"Leave him alone," he said in an eerily quiet voice.

My distraction left me vulnerable and Lonnie ripped the pipe from my hands and threw it away. "Why don't you mind your own business, kid?"

That must not have been the response Edward hoped for because he let out a terrifying growl that caused ice to run through my veins. Frank and the rest of the guys felt a flash of fear before making a hasty exit from the alley. Lonny, on the other hand, positioned himself behind me and pressed a blade to my throat.

Edward glided right in front of us. "Let him go now, and I may let you live."

The blade pressed harder. "You're not in any position to be bargaining."

I caught him off guard by relaxing my body and falling backwards on to him. He scrambled away from me and looked up at Edward. Whatever he saw on Edward's face made him run as fast as he could in the opposite direction.

He was almost to the end of the alley before Edward appeared directly in his path. I looked at the spot where Edward stood less than a second ago in disbelief.

Edward grabbed Lonny by the throat and held him at least three feet in the air. "As if you could outrun me."

I ran closer to them, my mind completely reeling. I was terrified, but at the moment I didn't know exactly what I was terrified of.

Lonny struggled in Edward's hold and tried to break free by clawing at Edward's forearms. Edward quickly grabbed his wrist and twisted it, causing a loud snap to echo.

"As if you could fight me off," Edward said calmly over Lonny's yells.

I glanced around, wondering if someone else would come down the alley. "Edward?"

He heard me over Lonny's noise. His eyes snapped to mine and he quickly dropped Lonny to the ground. He reached a hand towards me and for a second I thought about recoiling but I couldn't. I stepped closer to him, but didn't take his hand.

"Are you hurt?" he asked, looking for injuries.

I shook my head, suddenly feeling detached from my body. "He's probably hurt though, we should call for help."

I was surprised my voice came through so even. Edward was already talking on his phone and told me an ambulance was on the way when he hung up. I didn't answer; I just looked down at Lonny, who was now unconscious. I knew Edward saved me from him; I could have possibly been killed. But the look on Edward's face was while he tortured Lonny still burned in my mind.

I cleared my throat. "Will he tell the police what you did?"

Edward shook his head. "There's a warrant out for his arrest here and in a few other states. They won't believe a word he says, even if he does remember anything."

"Right." I reached in my pocket for my phone. "I need to call Bella, she's probably worried."

"Jasper, wait." He took another step towards me. "I'm sorry you had to see me that way."

I nodded my head numbly. "S'ok."

He regarded me closely for a moment. "I think you may be going in to shock. Do you think you could eat something?"

"Sure," I shrugged. I didn't even know how to act in that moment. I let Bella know that I would be riding back to Charlie's house with Edward. After the police escorted Lonny away, Edward and I went into a diner.

The hostess gave us a few lustful looks and then we were finally sitting down at a booth next to the window. I watched some of the other customers eat; still trying to process everything I'd just seen.

"You're very quiet," Edward observed.

"I'm fine," I mumbled.

"I'll feel better once we get some food and sugar in you. How about you order a coke?"

I shook my head. "I don't drink caffeine; it makes everything a little hectic for me. I love the smell of coffee even though I can't stand the taste. My dad use to drink it every morning. The smell of that would wake me up better than any alarm clock because my mom would have a fresh pot brewin' at exactly seven o'clock in the mornin'. She didn't like coffee either, but after my dad died we would sometimes go down the coffee aisle at the supermarket just for the smell."

I stopped talking, feeling embarrassed by my rambling. "So, um, no coke for me."

Edward looked completely captivated by my little story, as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. "Were you very close with your father?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, feeling my throat constrict. The waitress came and took our order. I asked for a BLT and a Sprite while Edward ordered nothing. It was completely dark outside by this time. I thought about Bella driving back and instantly felt guilty.

I reached in my pocket for my phone. "I shouldn't have let Bella drive by herself. It's late. I wasn't thinkin' right."

"She isn't alone. Alice is with her."

I paused and placed my phone down. "Alice came here with you?"

"Yes."

"How did you know where to find me?" I questioned warily.

He looked at me with a certain warning in his eyes. "Pass."

"Pass?"

"Pass. Meaning I'm not going to answer the question." Edward clenched his jaw and his voice had grown colder causing a spike of adrenaline to form within me.

"Beg your pardon," I stated quietly. "I don't mean to pry; I'm just tryin' to understand." My body still felt strange from all of the adrenaline and a wave of fear went through me. After seeing how Edward handled Lonny, the last thing I wanted to do was upset him.

His eyes shot up from the table and locked with mine, softening instantly. "What's wrong?"

I didn't answer him. I took a sudden interest of the table. We sat in tense silent as he watched me.

"Jasper." His hand reached towards me but I cringed back a little. Anguish twisted his perfect features. "No, Jasper, please don't be afraid of me."

"I don't want to be."

"What can I do?" His eyes looked so sad.

"Help me understand. You can start by answering my question. How did you know where to find me?"

He kept his hands at his sides but leaned towards me. "I wonder if you'll believe me."

"After what I just saw, I'm pretty much open to believin' anything."

"Ok." His shapely lips formed a grim line. "I followed your thoughts. Then I followed your scent."

My mind buzzed with the possibility of what he was saying. I looked around the diner, careful to keep my voice low. "You _hear _thoughts?"

"Yes."

I opened and closed my mouth a few times, unable to respond. What does one say in the presence of a telepath?

"How…how does that work?"

The waitress delivered my food before he could answer. I took a large bite of the sandwich, realizing how hungry I was. Edward leaned close again so he could speak in a quiet voice.

"Generally, I can hear and see whatever happens to be passing through someone's mind."

"Generally?"

"I've recently found an exception." He didn't seem entirely happy about this.

"Who?" Could it have been me? Was I somehow an anomaly to him?

"Bella."

This information shouldn't have been upsetting to me but somehow it was. Why couldn't I be something special to him? Why couldn't I have something that set me apart from others in his mind? I quickly pushed these thoughts from my mind in hopes that Edward didn't hear them.

He continued to watch me eat. His eyes tracking my every movement. He was growing impatient with my lack of response.

"That must be quite the burden," I finally said.

He was surprised by my statement. I let my words hang in the air as I finished my sandwich and tried to keep my mind clear.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked as I sipped my Sprite.

I snorted. "Can't you tell?"

"I told you before; I have a hard time reading you."

My eyebrows drew together in confusion. "And why is that?"

"You seem to have a different way of processing thoughts. I can usually only pick up a couple of words at a time. Everything seems to be muddled or maybe even unfocused."

"You callin' me scatterbrained?" I teased.

He scoffed with a smile. "Hardly. If anything, it's the opposite. Your thoughts are more complex than those around you." He gestured to a jukebox that had been playing since we arrived. "The brain automatically knows what not to focus on. You can easily be aware of the music without giving it your full attention."

I nodded for him to continue.

"But with you, it's more than that. You are aware of so much more that's around you. It all jumbles together and I can only make out a small portion of what you're thinking. It's like you compartmentalize your thoughts. Most times I can't hear anything at all."

It wasn't hard for me to figure out that my gift must somehow be affecting Edward's ability. When I looked at him sitting across from me, I knew that I wanted to know everything and for him to know everything about me as well.

"I've always been in tune with people's emotions. Ever since I can remember, I was always different this way. Even after all this time it can still overwhelm me. But I've learned how to calm myself and keep those emotions at bay."

Edward nodded thoughtfully. "So you're an empath?"

I gave a half shrug because no one had ever called me that before. People always felt there was something weird about me. But aside from my parents and Bella, no one had ever tried to learn what made me different.

"You want to play a game?" I asked trying to lighten my mood.

Edward looked around the diner. "Here?"

"Yeah. I'll tell you what a person is feeling and you tell me if their thoughts match."

"Sounds fair enough." He tried to sound indifferent but I could feel his excitement.

"Ok." I looked around and spotted a guy sipping coffee and looking out the window. "That guy, he feels pride and a tinge of sadness."

Edward spotted the guy and tilted his head as if he were listening to a conversation. After a moment, Edward's eyes looked a mine with shock. "Yes, his daughter was accepted into NYU and he's sad she has to leave."

Before I could pick anyone else Edward was looking around again. "What about her?" he asked, barely keeping the astonishment out of his voice. He had pointed to a woman reading a book.

I focused in on the woman and my cheeks warmed. "She's, um, feeling lust."

Edward's eyes grew teasing. "She's reading a rather erotic scene."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You did that on purpose. Ok, the waitress." She was leaning against the wall typing a message on her phone. "She's feeling greed."

Edward face turned a little at her thoughts. "Yes, it seems that her boyfriend got a raise and she's planning on ways to spend his money."

We played the game a little while longer before it was time to go. The playful atmosphere from the diner evaporated once we were inside his car.

I figured I should just put it all out there. "So are we goin' to talk about what you are? Your, uh, secret?"

"Jasper, if you knew my secret you wouldn't be content to be in my presence," he said sadly.

"Maybe you're wrong. Maybe it doesn't matter to me."

"Don't say that!" he exclaimed harshly, anger coursing through him. "Never say that."

I flinched at his tone but glared at him anyway. "Don't speak to me that way."

He raked a hand through his hair. "I apologize; it's just that you don't know what you're saying."

I stewed at his condescending tone. Did my feelings really mean nothing to him?

"Of course your feelings mean something to me," he murmured. "They mean everything."

"You can _hear_ me now?"

He nodded. "It's easier now that we are alone."

We rode silently for a few moments. "Jasper, please, talk to me."

"I want to talk about your secret. Will you be able to calm yourself?" I asked referring to his earlier outburst.

He looked apologetic but quietly gave his word to be calm.

"I recently heard some old Quileute legends about vampires." I tried to sound nonchalant but my voice may have faltered a few times.

"And you automatically thought of me?"

"How could I not? The speed, the strength, everything they described made me think of you."

"I see." His hands tightened around the steering wheel. "And did they mention my family by name?"

He was working to keep his voice light, but I could feel his underlying anger. Ever since I mentioned the Quileutes his emotions were turbulent. "Lauren mentioned your family and this guy, Sam, said that you all weren't allowed on those lands. Is that true? And the legends, are they true as well?"

"The Quileutes have a long memory."

My heart sped up. It was one thing to _think_ that Edward was a vampire but another thing for him to actually _confirm_ it. "It's true?"

"Does it matter?"

I ignored his question completely. "So it _is _true?"

My mind was overwhelmed with the absurdity of it all. I felt like I was in some kind of twisted fairytale. "Wait, so is it _all _true? Even the part about the wolves?"

"Yes," he said tersely.

"That is just…amazing." I shook my head slowly. "So I have a few questions, don't laugh ok?"

Edward glanced over at me with a half smile and motioned for me to go ahead.

"Garlic? Does that, um, irritate your senses or something?"

His smile became more pronounced. "No. It's unpleasant to smell, but most human food is."

"Crucifixes?"

"No effect on us."

"Wooden stake through the heart?"

He looked a little hesitant to answer. "There are few things that can penetrate our skin. Wood is not one of them."

"Do you sleep in a coffin?"

"No." His eyes shot to mine and then to the road again. "I don't sleep at all."

"You don't _sleep_?"

"No. Not ever."

"What about drinking blood? Is that a myth as well?" I failed to keep the hopeful note out of my voice.

"I'm afraid that's true."

"Ah, I see." The stomach felt heavy. "So will it hurt?"

"Will what hurt?"

"I assume that I'm not supposed to know about this." I thought back to Rosalie. "Will you need to kill me? Or maybe you could just erase my memory or somethin'. Can you do that?"

The car swerved slightly as Edward's head whipped around towards me. "Jasper, I would _never _hurt you. Please don't even suggest it."

"And besides," he continued. "I don't have the power to erase memories."

We smiled at each other weakly. I noticed the car stopped and we were in front of Charlie's house. Bella's truck was already in the drive way.

"I think my mind is turning into mush," I told him, trying to joke and lighten the mood.

"I'm sure this is all overwhelming."

"That's an understatement." I peeked at him from the corner of my eye. "I have so many more questions. I'm glad you're talking to me again. Now you don't have to ignore me anymore."

"Jasper, it isn't that simple." His voice held such pain.

"You _still_ don't want to be around me? Why?" I demanded.

"It's not safe for us to be around each other."

I flung open the car door and scrambled out. "So, what, you get to decide when you drop in my life? I don't get any say? I don't get to decide what I think is dangerous?"

Edward narrowed his eyes. "There is no decision to make. I have to think about your safety."

"Why is it so dangerous for us? Are you going to hurt me?"

"Of course not!" Edward stated fiercely. "I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you."

"Then what's the problem?"

He let out an exasperated breath. "I'm afraid you just don't understand."

"Then _help _me understand. Don't just shut me out again. I can't take it." At this point I wanted to pull all of my hair out.

"I can't."

"You can't? Or you won't?" I slammed his door and went inside.

Charlie grunted a greeting from the couch and Bella was already in her room. I paced around my room and tried to make sense of everything.

I did the only thing I could think of. I dropped to the floor and did pushups until I was numb. An hour later I stopped feeling worse than before. There was no escaping him. Edward had completely taken over my thoughts.

* * *

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Your encouragement means more than I can say. Please forgive my mistakes, this story is not beta'd.

As always, I'd love to know what you think.


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